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I’m not a big fan of the ‘embrace failure’ movement. I’d rather get things right. But, I was reminded this morning that there are valuable lessons in failing at something. It’s how you regroup and come back stronger that counts.

Last week, I attacked this workout:

Every 3 minutes, perform:

• 2 wall walks
• 4 burpee pull ups
• 6 push press @ 40KG
• 8 front squats @ 40KG

Complete 6 rounds (18 mins total)

It was a car crash. I ran out of time on some sets. I ended up scaling the front squats back to 6 reps. I also decided to call it a day after 5 rounds, and then changed my mind and did the 6th set slowly with a full minute of rest before. My form got increasingly sloppy as the rounds went on and my times were inconsistent. I felt beat up afterwards!

Now, the programming was too ambitious for sure. But, I also under-estimated it and got my strategy wrong with pacing and transitioning between the movements.

This morning I approached it again with the weight, volume and time scaled back a bit.

Every 4 minutes, perform:

2 wall walks
4 burpee pull ups
6 push press @ 30KG
8 front squats @ 30KG

Complete 5 rounds (20 mins total)

I thought alot about why I struggled the first time around and made some changes. I completely smashed it.

I finished the first two rounds in 2.30 mins, giving me 90 secs to regroup between rounds. I finished the third and fourth rounds in 2.15 mins and the last round in 2.05 mins. That’s exactly what you want – consistent rounds to start with and then a strong finish. I had a much better mindset from the first second. My form was also really good throughout and my strategy for pacing and transitioning between movements was spot on.

Whilst last week’s failure felt crappy, it felt great to put things right a second time around. And the things I learned will definitely carry through to future workouts. I’ve emerged stronger. So, I guess it all worked out well in the end.

I would class myself as an introvert, so I get my fair share of solitude every day. Well, at least I used to think so. Now, I’m not so sure.

Here is the definition of solitude:

Solitude is a state of seclusion or isolation, i.e. lack of contact with people.

Let’s look at what I consider to be my own solitude. It’s usually early mornings, walking, running, biking, exercising, my day off (I work a four day week), a planned activity by myself etc. As I think about those more, there’s usually a main activity going on with something else in the background – some type of distraction (podcast, music, phone etc.)

Is that really solitude? I guess it depends on how you think about solitude. If it’s just being by myself with a lack of contact with people, I guess it ticks the box. But, I also like to think about solitude as a time to rest and think. When I’m doing at least one thing, there’s not alot of resting and thinking going on.

So, I’m going to change how I think about solitude. Yes, it’s about being alone with myself. But, it’s also about creating space to think, rest and be alone with my own thoughts. Facing the discomfort that comes with being with yourself – even bored. It makes me think of one of my favourite books, Daily Rituals. It’s not a coincidence that some of the most successful artists had a daily routine that created space for thinking and resting.

I’m going to make a big effort to get some (real) solitude every day. Earlier, I went on a long dog walk and left my phone at home. I felt good. I had feelings of freedom, simple and uncluttered, which was nice. I look forward to more of that.

P.S Again, I’m reminded about the power of writing. This post was mostly going to be about how important solitude was and that I get a fair amount of it. But then I started to think more deeply about what solitude was. That’s when ‘resting and thinking’ came to me. And I realised, wow, I’m spending a lot of time alone, but it’s not really solitude. If I hadn’t decided to sit down and write about it, I probably wouldn’t have had that shift.

I’ve been writing more recently and I was quickly reminded how important it is.

Writing forces you to properly organise your thoughts around a topic. You have to think more deeply and broadly about things – and that often results in new ideas and more clarity.

I absolutely love this quote from Paul Graham which sums it up perfectly:

Expect 80% of the ideas in an essay to happen after you start writing it, and 50% of those you start with to be wrong

Take my last post on risk as an example. I started off just trying to explain how I was going to take more risk with my investments and re-allocate some funds. As I got into it, I became more comfortable with the idea – especially when I thought about it as a percentage of net worth. And then, as I started to think more about actually doing it, I realised dollar averaging was a good way to do it. These ideas came to me as part of the process of writing it out.

Being able to communicate your ideas well in writing is more important than most people think. And like anything, practice makes perfect – and that’s why I am writing more.

I’m a conservative person by default. I tend to take a position of more risk slowly and incrementally. The positive is that it protects me against a loss. But, obviously my upside is capped.

I’ve had three things influence how I’m thinking about risk recently.

1. Seth Godin’s recent post on Appropriate Risk. I really like how he describes appropriate risk as two fold – 1. the odds of it working out being in proportion with the benefits and 2. the consequences not being so large as to wipe you out.

2. Fred Wilson’s recent post on Diversification, reminding me that having all of your eggs in one basket can end in a mess.

3. Being friends with Barry Avraam. I’m so impressed with how he takes risks. It often serves as a nudge for me to shift another increment on the risk taking scale. 😉

The reason this has been on my mind is because I’ve been thinking of taking more risk with some of my investments. Right now, it looks like this:

• Index funds (S&P 500 and FTSE All-Share) – 77%
• Growth stocks and funds – 18%
• Crypto – 5%

Crypto being 5% is too small to give me a decent sized upside if things go 5X for example.

So, I am going to re-allocate to the below (essentially shifting some investments from index funds to crypto):

• Index funds (S&P 500 and FTSE All-Share) – 69%
• Growth stocks and funds – 18%
• Crypto – 14%

14% feels a bit high. But I have to remind myself that whilst it’s 14% of investments, it actually still represents under 5% of my net worth. Overall, that feels like an appropriate risk to take.

Crypto is a volatile world and I’m not interested in trying to time the market. So, I intend to take a dollar-cost averaging approach and move it over a four month period.

Here weeeeee gooooo.

I’ve fallen out of love with non-fiction reading over the last couple of years. Most of the new books that come out tend to have too much repetition and examples in them. It’s almost as if they are perfect for a long form essay, but the author has really dragged it out so it can be a book.

Take Bounce: The Myth of Talent and the Power of Practice as an example. I love the concept. Being the best at something is a combination of talent, circumstance and effort – and actually the latter two play a bigger part and are in our control. It was useful to have further context, evidence and examples. But, I reached a point where I was like ‘I get it – just give me practical advice and I’m out of here’. I couldn’t finish the book.

Podcasts have also taken a much larger share of my time. I probably listen to 5-10 hours a week. We have free access to some of the smartest people on the planet and podcasts are an amazing way to tap into that – whatever you’re interested in.

That said, for the first time in a while, I’m reading a book that I’m really into, and have quite a few lined up on my kindle I’m really looking forward to getting stuck into.

I’m currently reading The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. Super easy to read and insightful.

And here are the books I have in my kindle queue:

Conscious Parenting: A Guide to Raising Resilient, Wholehearted & Empowered Kids by Nick Polizzi & Pedram Shojai

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King

Ravenous: Otto Warburg, the Nazis, and the Search for the Cancer-Diet Connection by Sam Apple

The Science and Technology of Growing Young by Sergey Young

The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds – Not Crushes – Your Soul by Brad Stulberg

A Hunter-Gatherer’s Guide to the 21st Century: Evolution and the Challenges of Modern Life by Heather Heying & Bret Weinstein

Courage Is Calling: Fortune Favours the Brave by Ryan Holiday (released 28th Sep, 2021)

Will by Will Smith & Mark Manson (released 9th Nov, 2021)

The Cold Start Problem: Using Network Effects to Scale Your Product by Andrew Chen (released 7th Dec, 2022)

Hard Work Pays Off: Transform Your Body and Mind with CrossFit’s Five-Time Fittest Man on Earth by Mat Fraser (released 4th Jan, 2022)

Yesterday, I hit 60 days without alcohol. I can’t remember the last time I went without alcohol for this long, so it’s a pretty big milestone for me.

I’ve struggled with my relationship with alcohol for the last five years or so. So much so, that I stopped going on big nights out a few years ago because of how bad it made me feel afterwards. I would feel tired, anxious and a lack of confidence. I’d get stuck in a low mood and feel depressed for up to two or three weeks afterwards. It affected the quality of my work. I would have less patience with friends and family. I’d also drift from my good habits for a few weeks following a big night out (waking early, planning my day, eating well, exercising etc.). It doesn’t take a genius to tell you that the fun of a big night out isn’t worth it – nowhere close.

In the last year or so, I started to feel the same way, even though I had cut my drinking back. Having two or three drinks knocked me back for a week. I woke up the next day with the same feelings – anxiety, lack of confidence, tiredness etc.. Again, I easily drifted from good habits.

I’ve experimented with setting myself various limits over the last few years to try and cope with this. My best was 3 drinks a week, only on a Friday or a Saturday – and never more than 2 in an evening. I managed to hold that for about 6 weeks. But, one thing always remained consistent. I always slid back to over consumption at some point.

On Fri, July 16th, I went to a house party with some friends. Over the course of about 4 hours, I had 5 drinks – nothing too crazy. I woke up the next morning feeling terrible. Something just clicked. This is NOT worth it.

I felt more strongly than I ever have before – I want to be alcohol free.

And here we are 60 days on. I still had the desire to drink for the first couple of weeks, but that quickly faded. Sometimes I still have a faint desire to have a nice glass of red, but it never gets any momentum. Life is too good without it, and why would I break my chain of 60 days now?

Why is life so good without it?

I’ve been more consistent with my health habits than I’ve ever been. I’ve lost 7lbs. My whoop data has gone from mostly red and orange – to mostly green (see below). I feel better in myself – better confidence, less anxiety. My weekends feel totally different – longer and better. The list goes on.

Where will this go from here? For now, I plan to be alcohol free for the foreseeable – at least a year, most likely forever. I know people who’ve taken a year off and are able to return with a brand new perspective. They’re able to truly take it or leave it and have the right balance. That feels like a nice place to be, but I’m still sceptical it’s for me. We’ll see. Watch this space.