Daniel Clough

One dude. Seven foundational health habits.

Articles

Five things that have helped me be effective at work in lockdown

Lockdown has been very challenging for me. It’s taken me much longer to adapt to working from home than I would have expected.

I’ve struggled with a lot of things – video call fatigue, work / life balance, focus and motivation – to name a few. If I’m honest, I lost my edge at times. I feel like I’ve had the least impact I’ve had over a three month period for a long time.

That said, over the last few weeks I’m getting into a much better place with it. I’ve been reflecting on what’s helped the most, and five things came to mind:

Lowering my expectations

I got very frustrated in the first half of lockdown. I wasn’t able to operate at the level I was used to – perhaps, about half as effective. I felt detached from what was going on.

It’s really important for me to feel like I’m being effective. I have to be able to see how I’m having a significant and obvious impact. And this kinda slipped away from me.

I got frustrated and was very hard on myself. It took one of my colleagues to remind me that it was unrealistic to perform at the same level. Our whole world had been turned upside down after all, and it was going to take some time to settle into it.

Immediately, something clicked into place for me. From that moment on, I lowered my expectations and was kinder to myself. That helped me see things more clearly, and I was able to more calmly re-organise myself.

The balance between meeting, doing and thinking

Before lockdown started, my week was beautifully organised. There was an almost perfect balance between meetings, doing and thinking – which I think is essential for any manager to operate at peak. This was no fluke, I designed it that way.

As soon as we went into lockdown, it went out the window. Meetings expanded to fill most of the space in the week. I found myself on back to back video calls, with hardly any time to do anything – let alone space to think.

I fell behind on things and made some rushed, poor decisions. Urgent topics dominated my day. I found it harder to spot problems heading our way, and felt super overwhelmed.

Only recently have I been able to get this balance back – and WHAT a difference it’s made. I’m back to feeling in control, and on top of things. I’m spending more time on important things, and less on urgent things. I’m still in alot of meetings – but, I now have time to get stuff done, and also some space to think. How did I get that balance back? That leads me onto the next thing…

Re-organising my calendar, and my time

When I was at my most overwhelmed, I decided to take a step back and make some ruthless changes to my calendar. I’ve always been very good at managing my time, but my old system wasn’t dealing with lockdown very well.

I went back to basics, and re-thought everything. I stopped some 121’s, and reduced others in frequency and length. I stepped out of some recurring group meetings, and decided others were now optional. I went back to an old system of reserved time blocks for interviews.

The above gave me a LOT more space straight away. At the beginning of each week I’m now much more disciplined about getting my calendar exactly how I want it. It has to be the right ratio of meetings, doing and thinking. I start by getting my meetings how they need to be. I then time box two or three blocks which I reserve for focused work. After that, I need to see enough free space around the meetings and focus blocks. This gets used for spontaneous things, or as space to think.

This week was a perfect example. Monday morning was full of meetings, with the afternoon mostly free. Tues was back to back meetings (rare, but I had a lot going on). I had the entire morning Weds for focused work, and the afternoon for meetings. Thurs is off (I work four days a week). And Friday is about 2 or 3 hours of meetings, and the rest would have been a mix of focus work, and free space, but is now a holiday (more on this below). I’ve felt great the whole week, and already feel confident the week will end well.

Shutting down

Over the last few years I’ve gotten very good at being on when I’m on, and off when I’m off. I leave the house, commute to work, and then double down on work. When I’m done, I commute home, walk in the house, and then my laptop rarely comes back out. I have no work emails, messengers or calendars on my phone. This structure helped create a separation between the work and my own life.

Lockdown disrupted that pattern. I found myself working later, and also into the evenings. Part of it was because I no longer had a clear separation between work and the rest of my life. The other part was, I was feeling overwhelmed and my expectations were running away with me. So, I compensated by trying to work more (never sustainable, and usually always a bad idea).

It took awhile for me to lower my expectations, and re-organise my calendar and time to get into a better place. I also took some of Cal Newport’s advice about having a shut down ritual. I am trying to be more conscious about setting the time at which I will stop working when I plan my day out. At the end of the day I try and clear any unread emails, and then I shut my laptop.

This is still a work in progress. I completely failed at that last night. I opened my emails to check on something about 8PM, and from there got sucked into some other email topics. I ended up doing that until about 9.30PM. I wish I hadn’t because some of the frustration of those topics stuck with me and I found it much harder to sleep. I knew when I was doing it, it was stupid. But, I did it anyway and and then felt stupid afterwards 🙂

That said, I’m much better than I was a few weeks ago, and it’s helped me get most of my evenings back.

Walking calls

This seems to be something a lot of people I’ve spoken to have found useful. There’s something about being on video calls that is draining. It also tends to keep you in the same spot for a long time.

I started to take some of my meetings on my phone, and whilst I walked outside. This broke up the day. It got me moving, some fresh air, and away from video for a bit. The days I do this and far less exhausting.

Don’t try and multi-task looking after a five year old, and doing work

If you’re on the ball today, you’ll notice this is the sixth thing 😉 I couldn’t resist.

When you try to multitask parenting and work, all that happens is you do both badly. My heart goes out to people that are forced into this because of their situation. Ella and I feel very grateful and lucky. We’re both continuing to work and have income. Ella works part-time, so has been able to handle the bulk of the home schooling. She’s also a teacher, so she has a leg up on most people. I really do appreciate how lucky we are.

But, there have been times when Ella has had to go to work, and I tried to juggle both. It left me super frustrated at doing neither well. I rushed my work, and neglected Fearne (my daughter).

Fearne’s school shuts down at midday on a Friday, so they can deep clean in the afternoon. Ella works Friday, so I have been on childcare for the last two Friday afternoons. I’m also on the hook for the next 4 weeks.

I tried to juggle both in the first week, and it was a car crash. I’ve since booked my Friday afternoons off as holiday for the next four weeks. That way, I can just focus on having a nice time with Fearne. A far better way of going about it!

I hope you find these useful. If you’ve found something particularly useful, feel free to drop me a line and let me know.

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The thing about hard things

It started off easy, but it was about to get much harder.

I jumped on the assault airbike and got my first twenty calories done. I held a fast (ish pace, which took about a minute.

Next up was Ella. She had fifteen calories to do, which also took about a minute. Whilst one of us worked, the other rested. So, we both worked for roughly a minute, followed by a minute of rest.

Before we started, I wrote ‘500 calories’ on the chalkboard. Next to it, I also put ‘1000 calories?’. We had to hit at least 500 total calories to complete the workout – 1000 calories as a stretch goal.

I was anxious before we started. But, I figured I can do most things for a minute. I mean, it’s just a minute – followed by a minute’s rest. It’s going to take a while, but it won’t be that hard.

My 20 calories slowly got harder and harder. They went from easy, and not thinking too much about them – to actually needing to have a strategy for them. Jump on, and push hard for a few seconds to start with (gets the revolutions per minute up quickly). Hold the first 10 calories at a set pace. Then, another short burst for a few calories, followed by seeing the rest of the calories out at the set pace. Towards the end of the workout, I had to put my head down for the last few calories, giving it my last effort to complete them. VERY different to the first set.

It was the same for my rest periods. They started off with me standing around and slowly getting my breath back. I quickly had to come up with a strategy to recover and get my head in the right place for my next go on the bike. 15 secs of leaning against the wall, letting my breath come down. A quick sip of water, and then 30 secs of walking around. Then, about 15 secs of getting my mind ready for another minute.

We hit 1,000 calories in 73 mins, 21 seconds. It’s one of the hardest workouts I’ve done – second only to a 2K row.

I tried to convince myself it was OK to stop when we hit 500 calories. I did that about twenty more times on the path to finally hitting 1,000 calories. Each time the thought popped into my head, I reminded myself of how great I would feel when finished.

And that’s exactly what happened. I felt really good about myself immediately after finishing. It lasted for the rest of the day. I did something hard, which by the way – I tried to talk myself out of a lot of times. I was as proud of my mental toughness, as I was the physical accomplishment. I proved I could push through something very hard and finish it.

I go through some of the same process at work. I’m often involved in things that are ambitious and hard. I help teams and people change direction, and do things differently. It takes a lot of convincing, and over-communicating key messages. Plenty of difficult conversations. It’s super fast paced. And it takes an enormous effort to build momentum, after which holding onto it can be fragile and difficult.

Why do I bother doing it? I could find easier work. Money hasn’t been a key motivating driver for quite a while.

I do it for much the same reasons as why I pushed through the air bike workout. It’s rewarding to do difficult things.

It might feel like a slog at times when you’re in it. But, that’s often the path you have to go through to achieve something meaningful. That’s where the growth and learning happens. That’s where you continue to build mental toughness, confidence and resilience. And that’s how you get results you’re proud of.

So, the question is – how often are you doing physically and mentally hard things that make you feel uncomfortable? Is it enough?

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Whoop

It’s been a long time since I’ve loved a product as much as Whoop. It’s helped opened my eyes to the fine balance between pushing myself hard, resting and recovering.

It’s also helped me be far more self aware of where my body is at, and what I can do to influence things.

Let’s rewind back a bit (I’ve been wearing a whoop band for about 45 days now).

It all started because I wanted to better understand how I was sleeping. As usual, I spent a lot of time looking at what products were on the market. I started to get a feeling that Whoop was one of the leaders in this space.

It did everything I wanted. It tracks how long you sleep, and your sleep quality. It’s also been benchmarked against the gold standard of sleep tracking – so I felt confident in the accuracy of it.

As I dug deeper, I realised that it was far more powerful than just a sleep tracking tool. It’s actually a much broader health device.

What seems to give it the edge on its competitors, is the way it uses and visualises the data. This helps you actually understand how to change your behaviours to improve things.

The product is build around three pillars:

Sleep

Whoop auto detects when you fall asleep and wake up (I was blown away with how well it does this). Shortly after you wake, it gives you a detailed summary of your sleep. Here’s mine from last night:

I mostly look at two things. How much sleep I got, and how much REM and deep sleep I managed. I like to see my total sleep over 7 hours, and my REM and deep sleep to be above 40%. Last night’s sleep was really good – 7.31 and 42%.

Recovery

Every day, you’re given a recovery score out of 100, and it’s banded green, orange and red:

Your recovery score is generated using three things:

  • Heart Rate variability (HRV)
  • Resting heart rate (RHR)
  • Sleep quality

Strain

My recovery score today is super good (91%). A combination of fairly good sleep, a good HRV and a low RHR:

Strain measures the cardiovascular load your body takes on over the course of a day. Throughout the day, you get a real time strain score of between 0 and 21.

Your score is generated by your heart rate throughout the day. So, things like activity, but also other factors such as stress will affect your strain score.

Specific activities also get a strain score. Whoop auto detects when you’re active, and will also try and classify the type of activity. It’s surprisingly accurate at this. For example, it will auto detect when I go for a cycle (within a few minutes of starting and finishing) and auto detects it as a cycling activity.

Here’s how strain is visualised:

OK, so that all sounds well and good, but here is why I find Whoop particularly powerful.

I am much more self aware of how my body is doing on a day to day basis now. The equation of strain vs. recovery is always in the back of my mind. And this often changes how I approach my day.

For example, if I wake up to a low recovery score, I will tend to map out a gentler day. I also make a concerted effort to get to bed earlier. If I’m at crossfit, I will approach my workout entirely differently. I will keep at a moderate pace, and focus more on technique. It’s not the right time to go all out. On the flip side, if I see a green recovery score, I know I can let loose a bit.

The other thing I’ve noticed, is I’m more in tune with how my behaviours affect my HRV and sleep. I’m starting to see some patterns and this allows me to tweak my behaviours to improve things. Drinking alcohol too close to bed is a big one.

Lastly, they just get the basics right. The strap looks good and is comfortable. It’s water proof. The battery lasts 5 days, and it’s easy to charge without taking it off (no data loss). You can create and join community groups, so you can compare yourself against others. Oh, and they have a really great podcast.

Whoop does WAY more than I’ve outlined here. It’s worth checking out the product features for yourself.

As with most things that are good and work well, it’s on the pricier side of things. The strap is free, but you have to sign up for a $30 a month subscription. You can get it a touch cheaper if you sign up for a longer commitment.

If you click this link, you’ll get your first month free (and I’ll get a free month too!)

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It’s OK to throw a plan away

Don’t worry, it really is me writing this. No one has hacked my account! 😉

I got quite a few replies to yesterdays My love / hate relationship with weekly planning post. I realised after I hit the send button, that I should have included a few caveats.

Most of the replies were themed around those caveats. Here is part of one of the replies, which pretty much sums up most of them:

but maybe there is room to sway off the path every now and then, see what happens

I absolutely agree with that. I think having a plan, and then being flexible is the most effective way to go about things. But, that’s not an excuse to not do the plan in the first place. That’s the baseline.

Before I cover how I deal with being flexible, a couple of things.

If you don’t have clarity on what’s important to you in your life, you’re hosed from the start. You will find yourself being pulled towards things that aren’t important – or important to other people. If you don’t have a detailed plan for the week and the day, the same type of thing will happen (even if you have clarity). The awareness for what’s important will help limit the damage, but it will continue to be an uphill struggle.

With that said, a plan is something to hold onto. And there are two types of flexibility I afford myself:

It’s OK to deviate from the plan

Life happens. People cancel meetings. Important, urgent issues come up. You make a plan to wake up early and get a bunch of stuff done. But, instead your daughter decides to keep you up half the night (literally me today).

When stuff like this happens, you have to go back to the plan you made and adjust it. And then you get going again. And then adjust again if you need to. This happens to me most days, and it doesn’t take much time to do it. What’s important is that it’s all intentional.

It’s OK to drop the plan entirely.

I do this super rarely. But, sometimes there’s an opportunity to get lost in something completely different.

This happens to me at work from time to time. I’ll map out a whole day and feel good about it. Do this thing, speak to that person, go to that meeting etc. And then I’ll smell a problem somewhere.

Whilst it’s rare, sometimes I will decide to wipe the day out, and start exploring it. When I do that, I usually find that it was absolutely necessary to invest a large amount of time in that one thing.

When I come to the end of the day, I recalibrate the weekly plan and get back on track. Again, the key here is that this is an intentional decision.

So, I guess what I’m saying is you should start with detailed plans. You have to be intentional about what you are going to do. But, then you have to be flexible and adjust – either in small ways (frequently) or big ways (less frequently).

The key is to do this intentionally, and recalibrate after. This gives you the best of both worlds.

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My love / hate relationship with weekly planning

I spend roughly two hours each week planning my personal life – usually on a Sunday evening.

I start with reminding myself what’s important. Luckily, I don’t have to try and figure this out (that would take longer than two hours!). I’ve already spent a lot of time thinking about this, and have something I can refer to and review.

It hasn’t changed much in the last few years. This is because I’ve done the hard work to figure out what’s truly important to me. So, it becomes more of a matter of connecting with it, and having some high level ideas for how I feel about them.

Next up, I make detailed notes about where I want to spend my time, and what I’ll actually do. That might not seem hard. But, it involves making decisions on priorities, and deciding specific actions. That can take a bit of time to get feeling right.

Then, I’ll break down the week, and start to map out at a high level what will happen every day. Some days will be more work focused, and won’t feel very balanced. Other days will be a better balance, or perhaps entirely focused on something else.

This is where the rubber meets the road. It’s actually quite tricky to get right. You have to look at the priorities and actions you decided in the previous step, and map them into the days. You need to look at existing commitments and where there may be conflicts. Quite often you realise that you’re not able to do everything you decided in the previous step. You’re forced to make further decisions on your priorities.

And lastly, it’s a matter of taking a step back and looking at all of this work. Does this feel like a good week? If the week played out close to that, would I be happy with the shift forward?

You might be thinking, this all feels a bit over the top. Two hours? That’s time that I could spend actually DOING something. I disagree.

If I were to look at the return on investment of my weekly planning, it might be the best two hours I spend each week. It’s absolutely the difference between a focused and balanced week, and, well – the opposite!

Unless you go through this for yourself, it’s hard to really understand how powerful it is.

I also do something very similar with my work week. It involves some extra parts, but the overall high level flow is similiar. And the return on investment is just as high.

I’ll leave you with a quote that sums up quite nicely why I invest so much time in planning my week:

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe” – Abraham Lincoln

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I made working on my mindset my number one priority – here’s what happened.

About 18 months ago, I faced a cold, hard truth about myself – my mindset was holding me back.

I had this moment where it really clicked for me – this can’t go on. If I didn’t address it, I would be left with some serious regrets in life.

Since then, I’ve made working on my mindset one of my highest priorities. I’ve tried a lot of things, including all of the usual advice. I’ve taken courses, read books, done exercises and talked to a therapist. Sure, they helped lift me in the moment, but if I’m brutally honest – they didn’t make a lasting difference.

And that sort of led me to a depressing conclusion. Perhaps I’m hardwired to having this type of mindset? Luckily, I can’t accept that. Even so, I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t think that from time to time.

I’m in absolute awe of people like Jesse Itzler and Gary Vaynerchuk. They are full of optimism and confidence. But, I suspect this comes naturally to them. I struggle to see how I can reach anywhere near their level of confidence and mental toughness. I’ve come to realise that I will probably always have periods where I feel high, and periods where I feel low.

What I found instead, is a few strategies that really, really helped me improve and manage my mindset. They have helped me have more self awareness, and better manage the highs and lows. I may never have the confidence and mental toughness of Gary Vee. But, that doesn’t mean I need to accept that my mindset will hold me back from reaching my potential.

Before I share these strategies, I want to give a bit of background so you can understand where I am coming from.

I suffer with self doubt and anxiety, and I go through periods where I feel low, and it’s a real struggle to be optimistic.

I like to think I’m an organised and effective person. I’m very clear about what’s important to me, and I know how to get stuff done. But, my fragile mindset means I’m working with a very shaky foundation. It can blow apart my organised and productive world in an instant.

At times, I can feel on top of the world. When I feel like this, I am SO sure of my capability. I want to 10X my life, and I know it’s totally possible.

And then in a flash, it can come tumbling down.

One trigger can be seeing someone working hard in a low paying job. How on earth is that fair? Who am I to be in such a privileged position to be able to do big and interesting things, and get paid well for it? I get caught in a rut of imposter self talk, and I question the point in everything.

Another trigger can be something not going well enough at work (usually based on the ridiculously high expectations I have of myself). I start to question the point of me even being there? Surely there is someone else out there that could have done better, and should be doing my job instead?

Now, to be clear – I do always pull myself out of these moments. Sometimes I get back on track very quickly, but other times it takes days or weeks. But, I always do pull myself back on track. But goddammit, my life would be so much easier if I wasn’t pulled back by my mindset. I would do so many more great things.

So, as I said, I made working on my mindset a priority. It’s now one of a handful of key areas of my life I focus on – often the highest priority. I’ve established a few key questions that I ask myself at least weekly:

  • Am I developing an optimistic and positive mindset – where I see life as full of opportunity?
  • Am I pushing myself to feel confident and good enough? Where I feel capable of doing whatever I put my mind to?
  • Am I questioning beliefs that hold me back, and trying to overcome them?

These questions have helped me stay focused on improving my mindset.
So, let’s dive into the strategies. Here are three strategies that help me to feel good, and stay in the ‘high’ periods for as long as possible:

Look after myself

OK, OK, I know you’ve probably heard this before – as had I. But, for a long while it didn’t click for me just how important this. It only hit home when I started to notice the correlation between when I looked after myself, and when I didn’t.

It comes down to three things:

  • Drink very little or no alcohol.
  • Get enough sleep.
  • Exercise.

When I do all three, I tend to feel great about myself. And when I let at least two of them slip, I notice an immediate increase in anxiety and self doubt. This is a clear starting signal for a low period.

And of course, they are all connected. Drink too much alcohol, and you get rubbish sleep. Get rubbish sleep, and you’re less likely to want to exercise.

I say it in that order, because for me, reducing my alcohol consumption has been the game changer. I’ve cut back from two bottles of wine over the weekend. Now, I drink no more than two glasses over the weekend – and no more than one per night.

I’m hyper aware of these three things now. To the point where if I have a couple of nights of bad sleep, it’s on my radar to not let this extend to three or four nights. Because if it does, I know I’m at higher risk of a low period setting in.

Be in a positive feedback loop

This has been crucial for me. When I’m feeling good about myself, I’m almost always in a positive feedback loop. It’s really important for me to have regular feedback and evidence that I am good enough and capable.

And that doesn’t mean people actually giving me the feedback (although of course that’s always nice to hear). I get my positive feedback loop from seeing my impact. It reminds me that I am able to solve hard problems, and be useful – often in a way that many other people can’t.

When I’m going through a low period, there isn’t alot of tangible evidence of impact. That means my self doubt is much more likely to set in.

So, how do I influence that?

Well, firstly, I’m super picky about where I work nowadays. I need to be in an environment where I can be successful. That means working on things I am good at. Where there are enough hard problems to solve. And, having the autonomy to make a difference.

And then it’s a matter of being focused, and working on the right things.

A combination of the above usually means I can consistently make an impact, and be in a positive feedback loop.

Surround myself with positive people

This makes a world of difference. I need people around me that have energy and ambition. People who are positive and optimistic. People who are confident and take risks.

These people inspire me, and their personalities rub off on me. I’ve found I’m far less likely to dip when I’m regularly around people like this. I have more confidence.

I have a bunch of people like this both at work, and outside of work nowadays. And I follow a few people online who are great role models for being mentally tough. I listen to the Gary Vaynerchuk podcast almost daily. I follow Jesse Itzler and David Goggins through their Instagram accounts. And I listen to Ben Bergeron’s YouTube channel.

It’s pretty obvious really. If you want to change yourself, it makes sense to surround yourself with people who are more like you want to be.

The above three things have made a massive difference to how I feel about myself. I think about them on a weekly basis.

That said, I have to be realistic. I will still find myself in a period of feeling low from time to time. Here are three strategies I’ve found super useful to manage these low periods:

1. Accept it for what it is

It is what it is. I can do everything I can to avoid a low period, but sometimes I will find myself in one.

You have to be OK with it, and accept it. Every low period I’ve ever had, has always passed. This one will be no different. When you have enough self awareness for where you are, you can start to calmly work your way out of it

2. Reduce the expectations you have for yourself

It just stands to reason. If you’re not on your A game, don’t continue to hold yourself to the same expectations.

I used to try and power through regardless, and I only became more frustrated. Now, I temporarily reduce the expectations I have for myself. I do this across the board – with my work, my family, my health, etc. I scale things back to the minimum. I’m OK with going through the motions for a week or two. Trust me, nothing will fall apart. It’s unlikely that anyone will ever notice that your foot is temporarily off the gas. It all averages out in the end.

The key is to give yourself some space and the right environment to get back on track.

3. Fix what’s off

The strategies that help me to feel good – work so well. So much so, that I usually I find that when I go back to them, one or more of them is obviously off.

I may have neglected to look after myself. Perhaps I lost focus on work, and got distracted working on the wrong things – and I got out of the positive feedback loop. Or, I haven’t had the right people around me enough.

By fixing what’s off, I usually find I get back on track pretty quickly.

And that’s where I’m at right now with everything mindset. I feel for the first time, I’m actually able to keep the low periods to a minimum, and manage myself when I get into one.

From here, I’m going to continue to explore how I can get closer to the likes of the people I surround myself by. That’s the next level.

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Two proven ways to get important work done

It might be the most important thing you ever have to figure out for yourself. How do you get important work done?

It’s the key to living a full, productive, happy and balanced life. When you don’t have this figured out, you end up doing a lot of things, but actually achieving very little.

It looks like this:

The holy grail is spending most of your time in quadrants 1 and 2 (important work). And you want to be spending as little time in quadrants 3 and 4 (not important work).

Sounds obvious right? Well, it’s actually super fucking hard. It’s almost as if life is full of temptations that drag you into quadrants 3 and 4. Even worse, it has a way of tricking you into thinking you’re working on quadrants 1 and 2, when in fact you’re procrastinating in quadrants 3 and 4.

Ever convinced yourself that re-organising your google docs was important and necessary work? Well, you know where I’m coming from. 😉

Now, I want to be clear. I’m not claiming to be some type of rockstar that spends all my time in quadrants 1 and 2. I struggle like everyone else. I constantly wrestle with the temptations to put off important work. And I don’t always win.

That said, I have found two strategies that help me get important work done:

Plan your weeks and days

Jeeeeez. When are you going to stop writing about weekly and daily planning? Never ;-). That’s because I think it’s the most important thing we can do to get important work done.

If you’re going to have a chance of spending time in quadrants 1 and 2, you have to be intentional about where you spend your time. You have to carve out time to think about what work is actually important, and when you will do it. This puts you in control over your life.

I’m not going to cover how to plan your weeks and days, because I’ve done that before. Here are a couple of useful reads:

Create some space

This is how you can edge into quadrant 2 (important, not urgent work).

You don’t want a back to back schedule, where you’re rushing from one thing to the next. When I see my calendar starting to look like that, I get super worried and fix it.

You need to carve out space where you’re not doing anything. Ideally you never want to be more than 50% committed. That gives you a bit of space for important and urgent things that inevitably pop up. Importantly, it gives you space to think properly about things.

It’s in these spaces, that my brain starts to wonder about things a bit further down the line. This is literally the definition of quadrant 2 (important, but not urgent). And in this space, you can either take action on these items, or at least queue up action for the near future.

You’ll notice that the above two strategies are connected. Getting my calendar straight is a key component to planning my weeks and days. It’s the perfect time to ensure you carve out space to think about things properly.

Lastly, I want to give credit to these brilliant blog posts on ‘Wait But Why’. They really helped me with how I think about procrastination:

Why Procrastinators Procrastinate (Part 1)
How To Beat Procrastination (Part 2)
The Procrastination Matrix

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How to get back on track

When I woke up this morning, I found myself worrying about where I was in life.

It’s been a chaotic few months. We had a family holiday in Yorkshire. We’ve been doing a major house renovation, where we had to move out for 6 weeks. We moved back in now, but we’re still living in a partial building site. My daughter Fearne started school. And, I’m holding down a fairly ‘full on’ job in London.

I’ve found it a struggle to get, and stay in my groove. My environment has been all over the place, which makes it hard to stick to my habits and routines. It’s a reminder that these habits and routines are the foundation for how I organise my life and get things done.

As I sat there worrying and beating myself up, I remembered two things – which helped knock me out of it.

I need to be kind to myself and show self compassion.

There are valid reasons why I’m not in my groove. I need to lower the expectations I have of myself temporarily. Beating myself up will only hold me back from making a change.

I need to let go of the macro.

It’s not useful to focus on the big picture when I’m feeling like this. It can only make me feel bad and anxious. Instead, I need to switch to the now – today. What can I do today to put a step forward in the right direction? And then build on top of that. I can feel the pressure and anxiety start to fade, when I think about it like this.

Most of the time when I get into a state like this, it’s because I’m thinking too much about the future. It’s why I let go of goals a long time ago. On balance, I think they’re more harmful than useful. It’s much better to have broad (and non specific) focuses, and let go of the expectations.

So, I switch my focus. I stop worrying about where I should be, and where I am. I have 17 or so hours in front of me today, and I have a choice. I can either put a big step forward, I can stay where I am, or worse – go backwards.

I start to map out my day. When and how I will eat. Walk 10K steps and put in some mobility work. A call to connect with a friend that I haven’t spoken to for a while. Write something (this post). Read something. Some time to connect with Ella. Go to bed early, so I can wake early tomorrow and feel rested.

I try and keep it simple. The fewest things I can do, that will make an impact and make me feel better.

I ask myself how I will feel at the end of the day if I did these things? Happy that I took the first step to get back on track, and also that I put myself in a good position to tackle tomorrow. Nothing earth shattering – just a good step forward. And that’s what I need right now.

This is a good strategy for getting out of a funk. It’s also a good strategy for being happier in general.

It’s useful to think about the future and have expectations of yourself. But, it’s also easy to fall into the trap of spending too much time on it, and trying to be too specific about it.

Ultimately, you have today in front of you. You are in full control of what you make of it. Put a good step forward, and be happy about that. And then repeat. When you do this, the future will take care of itself.

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Mr Shitty Mindset (and four ways to beat him)

A couple of weekends ago, I had the most awesome Sunday roast dinner. I over-indulged, and that was fine – I felt great and I’d earned it.

But, things could have been very different. Let’s rewind back a few hours…

I was pacing the house, with a major self talk situation going on. I had a workout ahead of me, which I knew was going to be hard and feel horrible.

At this point, I hadn’t put my gym gear on yet.

‘Don’t bother’ said my shitty mindset. ‘It’s Sunday, and you’ve had a long, hard week. You deserve a rest. Go lay on the sofa and relax. Maybe even take a nap? Then, hit a workout tomorrow instead. You’ll be fresher and will do even better’

It was so tempting to jump on the sofa. But, instead, I jumped to a different type of self talk:

‘How will I feel at the end of the day, if I skip the workout?’

Pretty crap about myself. I’ll feel like I chose to stagnate, or go a step backwards. I will almost certainly feel guilty about eating a big Sunday roast dinner. I’ll know I took the easy route and let myself down. Also, I know from experience – this feeling will carry through into next week.

‘How will I feel at the end of the day, if I do the workout?’

I will feel disciplined and proud of myself. I’ll feel positive and will have more energy. I’ll feel like I took a decent step forward. And I’ll be able to sit down and enjoy the Sunday roast dinner, without an ounce of guilt.

That was enough for me. Before Mr Shitty mindset could convince me otherwise, on went the shorts and gym shoes. I quickly walked over to the garage (I have a home gym thing going on).

1–nil to me.

OK, So, here’s the plan:

10 rounds (every 2 minutes, on the minute).

  • 10 air squats
  • 10 push ups
  • 5 burpees

Followed by:

5 x 5 minute rounds on the Rogue Echo bike (5 mins rest between each round)

Each 5 minute round, is done in intervals of:

  • 45 secs (moderate pace)
  • 15 secs (fast pace)

In total, just over an hour of hard conditioning work. I know it will feel horrible. I tell myself:

‘Just put your head down and push through it – get it done.’

I kick off with the 10 rounds of squats, push ups and burpees. By the time I complete the 10 rounds (total of 20 mins), I’m on the floor breathing super hard.

On cue, Mr Shitty mindset shows up again.

‘Now, that was a great workout. You pushed really hard. You can feel proud of that effort. Look, it’s perfectly fine to stop there. I mean, imagine how horrible the bike is going to feel – especially with how you’re feeling now? Sometimes you do that bike workout as a workout of its own! So, it’s completely justified to stop here, and still feel good about what you did. Don’t over do it. Don’t put yourself through another 45 mins of really hard work. It’s going to feel horrible – you know it is.’

Again, another compelling argument. That’s the frustrating thing about Mr Shitty mindset – he can make a good case. I really do hate the feeling of that goddamn bike. I’m so close to wrapping up the workout and calling it a day there.

But, then I think about….

It’ll be a hell of a workout. It’s quite a bit more volume than I usually do. I’ll feel like I tapped into an extra reserve and completed what I’m truly capable of – instead of stopping at the first point of feeling uncomfortable. It’s what David Goggins would do.

‘How will I feel at the end of the day, if I skip the bike workout and finish here?

I’ll kick myself later, because I will know I stopped short of what I was capable of. I’ll feel like I choose to tread water, rather than take a step forward. And, the fact that I lacked the grit to push through the full workout – it will eat away at me for the next few days. Oh, and I won’t enjoy that Sunday dinner as much!

‘How will I feel at the end of the day, if I do the bike workout?’

Before I could think much more about it, I put on Still Dre, and jumped on the bike for the first round.

Phew. 2–nil to me.

I’m on my third round on the bike. This is feeling both horrible and good. If you’ve ever used an air assault bike, you’ll know what I mean.

Oh, Hi, Mr Shitty mindset. I figure you’re going to try and talk me out of rounds 4 and 5 right?

‘Come on, you know I make sense… Look, you ignored me and did the bike anyway. Fine. But, 3 rounds is enough. Let’s stop this nonsense. Why are you putting yourself through this? Feels horrible right? Trust me, rounds 4 and 5 are going to be far worse. Remember when you used to do only 3 rounds of the bike for a whole workout? Now, you’ve done it after the 10 rounds of squats, push ups and burpees. That’s more than enough. You don’t need to do more. You can stop here, and still feel great. Imagine not having to feeling horrible again on that bike?

I was so close to stopping after round 3 on the bike. At some point during round 3, I actually made the decision to stop after the third round. But, I quickly got focused on….

‘How will I feel at the end of the day, if I stop the bike after 3 rounds?

I’ll feel like I quit just before the end. I overcame Mr Shitty mindset talking me out of working out in the first place, and chipping away at getting me to do as little as possible throughout. But, then I will let myself be beaten by him in the last stretch??

‘How will I feel at the end of the day, if I finished 5 rounds of the bike?

On top of the WORLD. I know exactly what it feels to have a super hard workout under my belt, knowing it’s banked. I love that feeling. I’ll have set a new benchmark for what I’m capable of pushing through. And, I’ll be able to relax for the rest of the day and smash that Sunday lunch – guilt free. It’s only 15 mins away. You got this.

And with that, I jump back on the bike for round 4.

3–nil to me.

Mr Shitty mindset doesn’t even try and talk me out of rounds 4 and 5. He knows there’s no point – I have the finish line in sight.

I jump off the bike after round 5, and lay on the floor for a good 5 minutes. What a feeling. I hate working out, but I love working out!

I walk back in the house, shower, and put on some fresh clothes. I feel proud, relaxed and super happy. Next up – get making that Sunday dinner!

As I sit here writing this, it sinks in just how big a part of my life Mr Shitty mindset is. I have multiple conversations with him every day. But, it doesn’t always play out like it did above. He’s pretty good at what he does.

I suspect I’m not alone in this, and that most of us struggle with this type of self talk.

Here are four ways I’ve found useful to beat Mr Shitty mindset:

1. Be conscious that it’s happening

I would guess that at least half the time, this self talk plays a big role in causing us to procrastinate, or take the easy way out.

Half the battle is consciously noticing when this self talk is happening. When you do that, you can choose to take a step back and address it. There’s no special tricks to this. All you have to do is be more mindful and self aware when in these situations.

2. Give it a name

I think of this self talk as being a persona called ‘Mr Shitty mindset’. If you give it a name, it feels like more of a real thing to deal with. It also helps you notice when it shows up.

3. Disrupt the pattern

Sometimes it can be as simple as disrupting what’s going on. Now and again, I’ll find My Shitty mindset shows up and starts questioning my values or goals. This is no exaggeration…. Literally, within a few minutes I can find myself questioning what the point of my job is. Or, why I even bother working out. Or, starting to convince myself that a personal project I’m working on is useless, silly and insignificant etc.

When this happens, I find it useful to disrupt what’s going on. I find something completely different to focus my attention on. Sometimes, all it takes is striking up a conversation with someone. Or, jumping into a task. Whatever it takes to get out of your own head, and focused on something else.

When Mr Shitty mindset shows up, and you notice him, the two questions above really help.

4. Use the two questions

I imagine how I will feel at the end of the day if I give into him, and choose to procrastinate or take the easy way out. And then I think about how I will feel if instead, I choose to do the right ( often hard) thing.

The trick is to then act immediately towards doing the right thing. If you hesitate, he has his hooks into you again. Once you take the first step, you’ve usually won.

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This single book, restored my faith in books

I just finished reading Living with a Seal, and it was SO GOOD. Potentially life changing.

I’ve already sent a few copies to friends, and I’ve recommended it to more than ten people (this is very rare for me).

I’ve drifted away from reading books recently. I’m just so bored with them. I read half as many in 2019, then I did in 2018.

I feel most books should be an essay. In fact, I’m convinced most books become books, because someone wanted to write a book. Either a core idea expanded (usually through repetition) to fit the size of a book. Or too many ideas, and they never really get round to making a succinct point.

Living with a Seal has been sitting on my kindle for a while. And I figured I would give it a shot. I’m glad I did.

Jesse Itzler is a former rapper and highly successful entrepreneur. David Goggins is an accomplished Navy SEAL, world class ultra athlete and overall badass. Jesse hired Goggins to live and train with him for a month.

The only condition? Jesse had to do anything Goggins told him to do.

They ran through snow storms. They ran 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours. They did 1,000 burpees in a day (well, Goggins did over 2,000). They jumped into a frozen lake (more than once).

It’s one of those books that doesn’t feel like it’s trying hard to teach you something. But, it’s actually teaching you a ton.

It’s a story about the power of mindset and discipline. The scope of human potential. The importance of learning to live with, and lean into discomfort. How to notice what’s bullshit, and focus on what’s important. And it’s hilarious.

I finished the book yesterday. This morning I got up and I felt different. I felt more capable and in control. My first instinct was definitely not to run 2 miles and do 50 push ups and 50 burpees. But, it sort of crept up on me, so I did exactly that.

It’s also a reminder for me that mindset trumps everything else. A shitty mindset will work directly against you. I struggle with this at times, and it’s a fresh reminder for me to double down in this area.

We can’t all be David Goggins (and we may not want to be). But I have a feeling this book will strike a nerve with you, and push your life into a better direction. It has mine.

Let me know what you think.

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