Giving up alcohol for 60 days felt like a massive milestone for me. But now it’s just the first step in my 250 day journey of being alcohol free.
At the 60 day mark I still had some desire for a glass of wine at weekends or at social events. Whilst I felt confident that I wouldn’t slip up and have a drink – there was always a risk. When people noticed I wasn’t drinking, I told them that I was taking a break from drinking.
Now, the desire has gone and I tell people I don’t drink. There’s no chance I’ll slip up.
Life remains much better without it. I’m more consistent with health habits. I have less anxiety and feel more upbeat. It’s easier to maintain an ideal weight.
I find myself at a crossroad. I’ve been careful to never commit to giving up alcohol forever. The real goal was to change my relationship with it – which I have. I have proved to myself I can take it or leave it and go long periods without it. I know for sure life is a lot better when I do that.
The question now is – can I integrate it back into my life on my terms? Do I even want to?
I think I do. My ideal scenario would be having a couple glasses of very nice wine 3 or 4 times a year – at special occasions. I want to be conscious about what those special occasions are. I would like to drink slowly and really appreciate it. And then after – effortlessly – not drink again for several months.
My only worry is that every rule I’ve ever tried to put in place for alcohol has failed. It’s a 100% failure rate. That’s not good. Will a couple of glasses turn into three or four? Will I feel the desire to drink again on weekends? Will I be able to give it up again if I do fall into that pattern?
OK, let’s get more positive. I’ve also never given up alcohol for 250 days and had the relationship with it that I do now. I have a whole new perspective. So, I think the chances of the above happening are unlikely. And if they do happen, I’m confident I can return to being sober forever.
I’m on the fence. So, for now I will continue on my path of not drinking. Perhaps the right occasion will present itself for an experiment. Or perhaps I will never feel like running the experiment.