Daniel Clough

Just another WordPress site

Focus

Perfection is not the goal

I was off to an absolutely cracking start for my habits in May. You could say, a perfect start.

My goal was to maintain the habits that I’ve recently got to 80% consistency:

  • sleep 6.5 hours
  • drink two litres of water
  • drink a maximum of three cups of caffeine (before midday)
  • take my supplements

I also wanted to eat paleo and intermittently fast (as per my new stricter rules) at 50% consistency.

I was particularly impressed with my first six days of sleep. A perfect record and an average of 7:35 hours a night. But then days 7, 8, & 9 happened. They were still above 6.5 hours, but getting a bit close to the wire. I started to feel disappointed that I wasn’t able to keep up with the 7 and 8 hours numbers from the first six days.

And then, I came in with a 3:52 for day 10.

I was disappointed with myself. I could have easily avoided the 3:52. Instead, I went to bed late when I knew I would be getting up at 04.30 the next morning – and I ruined my perfect record.

But, wait. Let’s back up a minute.

I KNEW I would come in shockingly low on day 10. I even made the decision to stay up late consciously. I did it with knowledge I was easily on track enough to still achieve my sleep goal for the month (80%).

Let’s back up even further. Why on earth was I disappointed on days 7, 8 and 9? They were ABOVE the goal of 6.5 hours. I was literally disappointed with achieving my goal!

If I take an even more macro view of things – even with day 10 – I am at 90% consistency with sleep for the month. That’s nicely ABOVE my 80% goal. It’s a great month so far. Everything is well above my goal, with only paleo lagging a bit – and I have plenty of time to course correct on that.

So, why do I find myself disappointed and giving myself a hard time? Why do I find myself slipping into perfection being the goal?

One word. Expectations.

I’ve gone most of my adult life holding myself to high and unrealistic standards. I’ve managed to change my mentality around this in the last few years. But, it’s so incredibly easy to fall back into the trap of letting my expectations run out of control. Before you know it, I’m changing the goal posts and having a crappy internal dialogue with myself.

The silver lining is that nowadays I‘m able to catch this happening early. I can then pause and zoom out – see things for what they really are.

And this is what I see. I’ve made a breakthrough with my habits in the last few months and have found a system that works. I’m smashing May. I’m on an upward trend with momentum. I can be happy and proud of where I am in general. I literally find myself looking at my habit sheets and day, hardly believing it’s me doing it.

Perfection is not the goal. Nearly all of the benefits happen in the 80 – 90% consistency range. That’s where you can live a successful, healthy and balanced life.

The single best thing I’ve ever done to improve my habits

I started tracking my daily habits a couple of months ago. I wrote about how I did in February here.

It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done to improve my habits. It’s given me the dose of self awareness I needed to change my behaviours.

I made sleep a priority for March. I wanted to improve my sleep consistency (how many nights I slept for over 6.5 hours), whilst hopefully seeing everything else maintained.

Here’s how I did:

I’m super pleased. This is a nice baseline to improve upon.

The number of nights I slept over 6.5 hours jumped from 50% to 74%, which is a huge improvement. I also noticed my average sleep time was nicely up – from 6 hours, 23 minutes to 6 hours, 45 minutes (tracked by whoop)

The main change I made was to be more conscious of what time I went to bed and woke up. I know that sounds obvious, but I just didn’t think about it much previously. I would find myself going to bed about 23.00 and waking up at 05.00 – and then be surprised I only got 5 hours sleep.

I’m also pleased with my other scores improving. Remember, my goal was only to maintain them. Intermittent fasting, restricting caffeine to 3 cups before midday, drinking two litres of water and taking my supplements all increased. This is only the second month I’ve been tracking my daily habits, so the self awareness factor is continuing to help me be more consistent. It’s much easier to notice when I might be at risk of not achieving a habit on any given day – which then nudges me to take action to avoid it.

Eating paleo is obviously in a bad place. I was only focusing on sleep this month, so I didn’t expect it to increase. It needs a more well thought out plan of attack. Being active wasn’t tracked in March because I’m dealing with a lower back injury. I’m currently just walking and doing rehab (which I do daily, but I didn’t think it was useful to track it as being active).

That brings me to my focus for April. I’m very tempted to tackle eating paleo because I know that’s where the biggest bang for buck is (not only because it’s starting off low, but because an improvement here will improve my health the most). That said, it’s also a fairly complicated one because of my bad relationship with food.

I would also like to see the habits I have mostly dialled in get to at least 80%. Why 80%? No reason other than it feels about the right number to be consistent enough to get most of the benefits – whilst also giving me a bit of wiggle room to enjoy life and not stress about being perfect. Bringing sleep, intermittent fasting, caffeine, water and supplements up to 80% feels like a stretching – yet achievable ask for April. In a 30 day month, that allows me to have six misses.

In fact, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll aim to bring those up to 80% consistency in April. I know the two areas I need to focus on to do that. I need to be more focused on a daily basis (often I know the action I need to take to avoid a miss, but I let it happen anyway). I also need to be a bit more vigilant on the weekends, which is where I often drop the ball.

I think eating paleo will increase a bit, because I hate seeing it so low. But, it’s not the focus and I’m not attached to any type of result there. That’ll be for May.

Wish me luck!

Tracking daily habits

Last month I decided to track how consistent I was with my daily habits. The idea wasn’t to be perfect, but to bring better self awareness of how I was doing.

Here’s how I did in February:

It worked exactly as I wanted. It gave me more self awareness from both a micro and macro perspective.

From a micro perspective, I would sometimes realise I was at risk of not doing something as the day went on. For example, it might be mid afternoon before I realised that I hadn’t drank any water yet. If I left it for a few more hours, I would be into the evening and there was a good chance I wouldn’t get my two litres in. That would force me to course correct and drink a litre immediately to put me back on track. I can guarantee the big picture would look worse had I not had this daily dose of self awareness.

From a macro perspective, it’s super useful to look at a picture of a month like this. I can see what habits are almost effortless and which ones need a bit more focus. It’s also obvious where I have some harder thinking to do if I want to improve my consistency.

Here is what I noticed:

  • No alcohol is a given. I’m 231 days sober. It’s a default habit and there’s no risk of having a drink.
  • Being active 4-5 times a week and intermittent fasting is easy. An almost perfect record.
  • Drinking 2 litres of water, 3 cups of caffeine (before Midday) and taking my supplements is fairly easy. A few slip ups here or there, but comfortably in the 80/20 zone.
  • Eating paleo (ish), sleeping 6.5 hours, meditating for 60 mins and networking with two people a day need a lot of work. My record is anything from terrible to patchy at best.
  • Weekends are trickier for me. It’s super easy to get off track with even habits that are fairly easy to keep up in the week. That’s something to think about.

I should add that mediating for 60 mins and networking with two people per day are new habits I’m trying to establish. I’m still in the early stages of figuring out the best way to get these habits to stick. But, paleo (ish) and sleeping 6.5 hours are things that have been on my radar for a long time, and as you can see I’m struggling with them.

As I head into March, it would be super easy (and predictable) to set out to try and improve everything that needs work. But, I know that will quickly become overwhelming and lead to failure. Instead, I need to pick one thing to focus on.

That’s sleep. It’s the easiest one to improve (I have a good sense of what to change) and will make the biggest impact.  If I’m sitting here at the end of March looking at the same type of picture, but with improved sleep – that’ll be a hell of a win.

If you want to improve your habits, I’d highly recommend tracking them like this. Having something in front of you that’s visual, gives you a healthy dose of self awareness many times a day. And being able to look at the bigger picture helps give you a sense of where to focus your efforts for improvement.

See you at the beginning of April 😊

Ruthless focus

For the last two weeks, I’ve ruthlessly focused on only one thing at work.

What do I mean by ruthlessly focused? Well, I usually take about an hour at the beginning of the week to reflect on my priorities and plan the week. There’s always a range of stuff to get done – big strategic stuff, projects, smaller tasks, meetings, things to communicate etc. I finish with a plan that feels like the right priorities and is realistic.

I didn’t do any of that in the last two weeks. I knew there was one big thing I had to do really well. This one thing was far more important than everything else, to an order of magnitude.

I allowed myself to get completely lost in it. Other than key meetings, I didn’t think about or do much else. My daily planning was very loose. When I wasn’t working on it, I intentionally didn’t try to tackle other things. Instead, I allowed myself some space and downtime – which only helped me do the one thing better when I came back to it.

I’m coming to the end of those two weeks now. That one thing got done really well and I’m proud of that. But, now it’s time to get back to a more structured way of working starting next week.

This type of ruthless focus can be a really useful way of working when you need to make progress on one very important thing. But, it can also be dangerous. It feels really nice to let go of some of the structure and get lost in something. With that there’s a risk that you end up losing your discipline and structure for longer than you need to. You may also end up neglecting other important things and causing yourself problems. And don’t be surprised if it ruffles some feathers with others when you’re not available to help with things that are important to them.

Here are a few tips for making this type of approach work:

  • Correctly identify the one important thing. Don’t use it as an excuse to enjoy the luxury of letting go of structure. It has to be something that is truly of significant importance and will benefit from extreme focus. You’ll usually find that these come around infrequently.
  • Know when to do it. The timing has to be right. If you have other commitments that can’t be dropped, it will be difficult to pull off extreme focus on something else.
  • Know when to switch back. It’s enticing to let go of the structure and give yourself permission to focus on only one thing. So much so, that it can be easy to stay in that zone for too long. I usually find a few days or one week is enough – two weeks at a maximum. If I focus on only one thing for more than two weeks, I absolutely will end up dropping things that will cause me problems.
  • Let others know what you’re doing. That way, they won’t be offended if you’re not available to help them with things that are important to them. They’ll also be less likely to interrupt you.

My new coaching program – Get Unstuck

I was helping someone last week who was struggling with their work life balance. They were frustrated and upset.

Work was overpowering everything else in their life. Ironically, it was an intentional (ish) choice for them to double down on their work. It helped distract them from some other things that were going on in their life.

We talked about their priorities at work – and where the boundaries should be between work and the rest of their life. We also talked about what things had to be prioritised either higher, or as high as work. Things like health, a few relationships, a specific issue in their life, and some time to switch off. We talked about strategies to make that happen.

I know exactly what it’s like for work to overpower everything else in your life. I struggled with this for a long time. I felt like a failure for not being able to get any ONE, single area of my life in good shape. I was unhappy and overwhelmed most of the time [Read more…] about My new coaching program – Get Unstuck

The bizarre, but very effective way I use social media (and a list of really cool people to follow)

The Social Dilemma documentary is doing the rounds at the moment. It’s about a bunch of tech executives from Silicon Valley, who highlight the consequences of our growing dependence on social media.

It’s eye opening for many, but nothing new to me. I’ve felt for a very long time that the benefits of using social media are vastly outweighed by the negatives. Over the last few years it’s made me drastically change how I use social media.

[Read more…] about The bizarre, but very effective way I use social media (and a list of really cool people to follow)

Be where your feet are

Try this. Take a breath, and say to yourself – ‘Be where your feet are‘

You’ll find your awareness goes straight to your feet. You should then feel a connection with the ground. And from there, a self awareness and connection with your body.

This will snap you straight into the present moment. A feeling of calm should come over you.

[Read more…] about Be where your feet are

Five things that have helped me be effective at work in lockdown

Lockdown has been very challenging for me. It’s taken me much longer to adapt to working from home than I would have expected.

I’ve struggled with a lot of things – video call fatigue, work / life balance, focus and motivation – to name a few. If I’m honest, I lost my edge at times. I feel like I’ve had the least impact I’ve had over a three month period for a long time.

That said, over the last few weeks I’m getting into a much better place with it. I’ve been reflecting on what’s helped the most, and five things came to mind:

[Read more…] about Five things that have helped me be effective at work in lockdown