Daniel Clough

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Mindset

No alcohol: 250 days

Giving up alcohol for 60 days felt like a massive milestone for me. But now it’s just the first step in my 250 day journey of being alcohol free.

At the 60 day mark I still had some desire for a glass of wine at weekends or at social events. Whilst I felt confident that I wouldn’t slip up and have a drink – there was always a risk. When people noticed I wasn’t drinking, I told them that I was taking a break from drinking.

Now, the desire has gone and I tell people I don’t drink. There’s no chance I’ll slip up.

Life remains much better without it. I’m more consistent with health habits. I have less anxiety and feel more upbeat. It’s easier to maintain an ideal weight.

I find myself at a crossroad. I’ve been careful to never commit to giving up alcohol forever. The real goal was to change my relationship with it – which I have. I have proved to myself I can take it or leave it and go long periods without it. I know for sure life is a lot better when I do that.

The question now is – can I integrate it back into my life on my terms? Do I even want to?

I think I do. My ideal scenario would be having a couple glasses of very nice wine 3 or 4 times a year – at special occasions. I want to be conscious about what those special occasions are. I would like to drink slowly and really appreciate it. And then after – effortlessly – not drink again for several months.

My only worry is that every rule I’ve ever tried to put in place for alcohol has failed. It’s a 100% failure rate. That’s not good. Will a couple of glasses turn into three or four? Will I feel the desire to drink again on weekends? Will I be able to give it up again if I do fall into that pattern?

OK, let’s get more positive. I’ve also never given up alcohol for 250 days and had the relationship with it that I do now. I have a whole new perspective. So, I think the chances of the above happening are unlikely. And if they do happen, I’m confident I can return to being sober forever.

I’m on the fence. So, for now I will continue on my path of not drinking. Perhaps the right occasion will present itself for an experiment. Or perhaps I will never feel like running the experiment.

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Mental health and physical exercise

Tyson Fury is very open about his struggle with mental health. What I found interesting is how much emphasis he puts on physical exercise. He consistently comes back to it as being the foundation for feeling good.

Here’s a few quotes:

If I don’t train for two days, I feel totally depressed. You need to stimulate the mind. And I think training is the perfect way to do it. Working out, exercising. Whether you can do a lot or a little – you must do something.

I’m very very sure that working out and having a routine in your life is the answer for mental health problems.

When I don’t go to the gym, I feel terrible. But, when I train on a daily basis, I feel great. Now, I know if I train on a daily basis for the rest of my life, then I don’t think I’m going to suffer with health problems again.

This matches my own experiences. If I push myself hard for an hour or so, I feel great afterwards (even if I felt anxious or unhappy before). I think it’s part physiology and just feeling really good with yourself for working through the discomfort. That feeling lasts for at least a few hours, and often the rest of the day.

If you can get for or five sessions like this done a week, and then some type of active recovery on the other days (walking, biking etc.) – it makes such a difference. I know it does for me.

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My new coaching program – Get Unstuck

I was helping someone last week who was struggling with their work life balance. They were frustrated and upset.

Work was overpowering everything else in their life. Ironically, it was an intentional (ish) choice for them to double down on their work. It helped distract them from some other things that were going on in their life.

We talked about their priorities at work – and where the boundaries should be between work and the rest of their life. We also talked about what things had to be prioritised either higher, or as high as work. Things like health, a few relationships, a specific issue in their life, and some time to switch off. We talked about strategies to make that happen.

I know exactly what it’s like for work to overpower everything else in your life. I struggled with this for a long time. I felt like a failure for not being able to get any ONE, single area of my life in good shape. I was unhappy and overwhelmed most of the time [Read more…] about My new coaching program – Get Unstuck

Be where your feet are

Try this. Take a breath, and say to yourself – ‘Be where your feet are‘

You’ll find your awareness goes straight to your feet. You should then feel a connection with the ground. And from there, a self awareness and connection with your body.

This will snap you straight into the present moment. A feeling of calm should come over you.

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The counter-intuitive way to get freedom

It’s rare that I read an article and think – I wish I had written that. That’s exactly how I felt after reading Wise People Have Rules For Themselves by David Cain.

I agree with every single word.

It sounds odd to say ‘discipline equals freedom’ – but it does. It’s counter-intuitive. When you set rules for yourself that you know are good for you, it’s actually liberating. It’s a huge relief. You no longer have to flip flop between things that work, somewhat work and don’t work. You lean in towards what works for you. You live a life on your terms.

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The thing about hard things

It started off easy, but it was about to get much harder.

I jumped on the assault airbike and got my first twenty calories done. I held a fast (ish) pace, which took about a minute.

Next up was Ella. She had fifteen calories to do, which also took about a minute. Whilst one of us worked, the other rested. So, we both worked for roughly a minute, followed by a minute of rest.

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