Discipline

I started a Podcast – The Uncommon Life

July 18, 2023

This has been a fun project to bring together. But, why start a podcast?

A couple of reasons:

Writing is my comfort zone. Always has been. I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and start doing some audio and video. It’s going to force me to be a better talker.
Getting out of my comfort zone is one thing – but, I didn’t want to do audio and video for the sake of it. I needed a topic and format I was really into. So, I sat on it for a while, waiting to get excited about something.

Over the last few months I’ve been having more conversations with my friends Rich and Luis on everything health, training, nutrition and discipline. All three of us live a very disciplined and healthy lifestyle. We’re very active and train hard. We eat in a very specific way to be in good health and achieve our goals. We’re all in the best shape and health of our lives because of it.

So, taking this conversation into a podcast felt very natural. It’s fun for us, and I think it can be very helpful for others – no matter where you are on the journey of health, fitness and discipline.

Here’s the first episode of The Uncommon Life – E1: Our Goals & Nutritional Approach (Including the Carrot Hack & Cheat Porridge!):

(Watch it on YouTube)

Watch / Listen on Spotify – E1: Our Goals & Nutritional Approach (Including the Carrot Hack & Cheat Porridge!)

Listen on Apple Podcasts – E1: Our Goals & Nutritional Approach (Including the Carrot Hack & Cheat Porridge!)

We’re not trying to be over-polished with this. We have a bias towards putting out episodes and improving as we go along. So, expect the odd sound and wifi issue. Doorbell interruptions too!

I hope you enjoy it and find it useful. If so, please follow (you’ll get notified of new episodes) and rate the show on Spotify and YouTube. And any feedback at all is super welcomed.

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It’s a beautiful thing, when you start to like the person you’re becoming

July 13, 2023

If you know me or my writing, you’ll know that I struggle with confidence. It’s been like this for as long as I can remember.

There’s often some type of self doubt, anxiety, or imposter syndrome hovering around me. Even when I’m at my highest, I feel a black cloud in the background. I can be in the zone and feeling super capable one minute – only to feel like a complete fraud the next.

So far, I’ve relied on two strategies to keep this somewhat under control:

1. I’m an ambitious person. So, I will push myself, and then momentum tends to shove me forward. This has helped me gravitate to senior roles in companies. I’ve founded my own company. I write in public. I’m starting a podcast. I would like to launch a habit coaching course in the future. My ambition gets me started, and then I simply have no choice but to push the self doubt down and power through. It can be exhausting. But it’s better than the alternative – to be paralysed by self doubt.

2. I’ve invested a lot of time trying to find things that can help me be more confident. Reading books. Listening to podcasts. Taking courses. Gratitude. Meditation. Hypnotherapy. Coaching. Journalling. Surrounding myself with people who inspire me and lift me up. Some of it has been helpful. But, if I’m honest, even what’s been helpful, only eased things temporarily.

I was surprised by some internal dialogue the other day:

‘It’s a beautiful thing, when you start to like the person you’re becoming’

This feeling has been growing in me recently. I’m really starting to like the person I’m becoming. I’m becoming comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never genuinely felt like this before.

And then it hit me. More often than not, I’m confident and optimistic. In fact, so far this year, I can’t even remember a particular episode of self doubt or imposter syndrome. There have only been a few periods of low mood. But, I can track that to a lack of sleep, which I was able to correct.

So, how on earth did this sneak up on me?

And then it hit me again, this was the start of it. Eighteen months ago, I started a journey of building a set of rock solid habits in my life. This slowly grew into eight health habits I’m now very consistent with. Building these habits has had a gigantic impact on how I feel about myself.

Giving up alcohol was massive (I’m nearly two years sober). I struggled with what to do about alcohol for a long time. Finally deciding I will never have a drink again has been so impactful for my mental and physical health. It’s been truly liberating.

Giving up alcohol also highlighted how important sleep is for me. I first realised this when one morning I woke up feeling hungover and anxious. I noticed I had a few nights of very poor sleep. I forced a huge sleep that night and felt so much better the next day. My anxiety was gone. Huh? Maybe it wasn’t so much the alcohol that was causing my anxiety – but the impact it had on my sleep [1]. Improving my sleep has been a complete game changer for me. As it improved, I noticed everything else got easier.

And then you have all the other habits, Prioritising protein. Fasting. Limiting caffeine. Drinking plenty of water. Walking a lot. All of the eight health habits I’ve built, play a part in how much better I feel about myself now. And, cumulatively, they pack a huge punch.

But, it goes beyond just packing a big punch. It’s the person I’ve now become by holding myself accountable to these eight habits. I’ve become a man of discipline. Someone who is taking personal responsibility for how I want to live my life. Someone who consistently delays short term gratification, because I value the bigger picture more. Someone who does what they say. I’m not trying to be someone like this (like I did for most of my adult life) – I’m this person FOR REAL. I’m really doing it. This has made me feel very differently about myself. I’m proud of creating a much better version of myself.

Whilst the habits started it all off, I couldn’t have predicted what would happen next. As I became a more disciplined person, and as my confidence grew, a switch flipped in me. It happened about six months ago. I started to make some other changes in my life that I wasn’t able to make before.

I became more dedicated with my training. I started to invest in longer warm ups. I became more consistent with my cool downs. I was more focused in each training session. I added an extra few hours of zone two training into my program. It’s now incredibly easy for me to be active every day and to total about 10+ hours a week of training.

I started to take my nutrition far more seriously. I began tracking and controlling my food intake very consistently. I took my clean vs. unclean food ratio from something like 50/50, to now easily 80 / 20. I started to eat more protein. I’m now easily averaging 180 grams per day – compared to finding it very hard to hit 120 grams per day.

I struggled for many years trying to build this type of discipline in my training and nutrition. Yet, in 6 months I was able to break through it all. I can’t emphasise how much of a transformation it’s been for me to take my training and nutrition to a whole new level. I’m in the greatest shape and health of my life. Feeling comfortable in your own skin (literally) is an incredible feeling. Not to mention, pushing yourself hard has a very direct and positive impact on your mood.

The changes I’ve seen in myself aren’t contained to health and fitness. It started there, but then expanded into other areas of my life. I’m more secure and confident in my relationships. I’m more confident and composed at work. I’m starting to spin up some personal projects (podcast coming soon!). I’m genuinely much more optimistic about the future.

And you know what? It still feels like I’m so early on this journey. It feels like the handbrake only really came off six months ago. The best is yet to come.

This all sounds peachy right? Look. I’m not naive. I know life is going to throw some curveballs my way in the future. And it’s not like all of this was a particularly conscious plan. I actually didn’t see it coming. But, goddamn does it feel good to have a stronger foundation of confidence and optimism. So for now, I’m just going to be grateful for the switch that was flipped and hold onto it.

So, what’s the lesson in all of this?

If you’re struggling with confidence, self doubt, anxiety, or imposter syndrome – I would suggest avoiding the hacks. The hacks can be quite useful as optimisation, but only after you’ve solved the root cause. In themselves, they aren’t going to get to the root cause.

My brother Joseph helps people with confidence and imposter syndrome. In his course, he uses the Why technique [2] to help people get to the root cause of their anxiety. And every single time, without fail, it comes back down to this:

I’m not good enough.

So, go back to basics and work on yourself. Be relentless about it. Make it your number one priority. Build a set of self care and health habits that stick. Give yourself the time to do it properly (it took me 18 months). Build yourself into someone you like and are proud of. Start to feel good enough. And then watch what happens from there.

Notes:

[1] In episode #31 of the Huberman Lab Podcast, Dr. Matthew Walker and Andrew Huberman discuss how alcohol fragments sleep, reduces REM sleep, and can lead to emotional sensitivity. Link to specific segment here.

[2] An explanation of the ‘five whys’ technique here. By the way, it doesn’t have to be contained to five whys, and may often take more to get to the root cause of a problem.

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How to build unbreakable consistency

June 9, 2023

I spent at least fifteen years chasing specific goals and perfection. I knew in my heart that it was wrong and making me miserable, but I still kept doing it.

I bounced between perfection and falling off the wagon hard – which is almost the definition of inconsistency. And because consistency is EVERYTHING for getting results, I struggled to change.

Over the last eighteen months, I’ve begun to think about things completely differently. I built a whole new mentality and mindset. This has helped me transform myself and achieve more than I could possibly imagine.

As I reflect on how I’ve changed, there are five things that stand out as making the difference:

1. Direction over goals

Nowadays, I rarely have any specific goals. Instead, I’m very clear in the direction I would like to go, and then I put all my focus into taking small steps towards that right direction.

For example, below are a few things I have written down for improving my health, which I often reflect on:

I put my health first – above everything else.
I’m metabolically healthy and I feel great.
I’m living my life in a way that will give me a full, healthy and happy last decade of my life.
I’m proud of how I look. I’m lean and comfortable in my own skin – and with taking my top off.
I’m fit, active and able to do lots of things – train, play sports, take on challenges or adventures.
I can move well – without aches and pains.

I could easily attach goals and tangible metrics to all of those – but I don’t. I prefer to build habits and take actions that move me closer to the above feeling more true when I say them. I focus on what I will do today, and how I spend my weeks – not on where I want to exactly end up.

2. 80% is good enough

I’ve learned that 80% consistency is where you find the sweet spot for getting most of the rewards – but with the flexibility to have some fun and stay sane too. Everything above 80% starts to become diminishing returns, especially when you factor in the marginal extra gains, and the risk of falling off the wagon.

It took me so long to admit this. Since I have, I’ve been able to achieve so much more, and be so much happier.

3. Averages are what count

In the past, when I would slip up on something, I beat myself up. If I skipped a training session, I would consider myself lazy. If I ate a piece of cake, I felt undisciplined and fat. The list goes on.

It comes back to 80% is good enough. But, importantly, it’s 80% over a period of time. Most slip ups are just blips in the grand scheme of things. You can still have a great day, if you make a mistake in the morning. You can still have a great week, if you have a bad day. And you can still have a good month, if you have a bad week.

For example, I track how many calories I eat every day. But, what I really care about is my weekly average. That means it’s fine if my calories sit too high one day. I have plenty of opportunity to bring the average down over the next couple of days. My weight and body fat over the long run, won’t be decided by one day’s worth of calories.

The same goes for habits. Below is how I’m doing for June:

I’ve had seven misses so far. None of them bothered me. I have peace of mind that I’m on track to be at 80%+ consistency for all my health habits this month. And, THAT’S what counts. That’s what I need to move forward.

4. Consecutive misses are fatal

A single mistake or miss is easy to recover from. It’s not enough to disrupt momentum. However, two can very easily become the start of a new pattern. And three? You’re already on a new pattern. Notice that I have no consecutive misses in June so far.

If you do make a mistake or have a miss, you must try and put things right the following day. If you have two consecutive misses, you cannot afford another.

5. Be patient

A lack of patience can sometimes be the biggest risk to consistency. It can be easy to feel that things are going too slow, or that you should change your approach.

Various things can cause a lack of patience. You might find yourself comparing yourself to someone else. You might have an unrealistic view of how long a change will take. Or, maybe you’re tired, and you’re finding yourself questioning everything.

When you’re starting to feel impatient, it’s useful to take a big step back. Look at everything from a distance and try and see the situation for what it really is. More often than not, you’ll realise you were over-reacting.

A few weeks ago, I started to become impatient about how my weight and body fat were dropping too slow, if at all. Only when I stepped back could I see three things were clouding my judgement. I had got caught up comparing myself to someone else. I was also reminded, that I had only become more disciplined with how I was eating for a few months. And, lastly, I was still very early in the journey. In fact, I was doing perfectly fine.

Listen, I’m far from perfect. I still find myself straying from the above five things. But, importantly, I now have self awareness when it’s starting to happen. That means I can self correct pretty quickly. If you can get yourself into this position, you’ll find yourself being able to build a level of consistency you never imagined.

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My simple framework for consistency

March 22, 2023

Consistency is by far the most important factor in achieving long-term results. In fact, one of my favourite quotes at the moment is:

“Little by little, a little becomes a lot”

Small actions taken consistently, really do add up to some very significant results over the long-term.

Consistency is open to interpretation though. Doing something 100% of the time is being consistent. So, what’s 90%? What’s 80%? Where do you draw the line?

If you set the bar too high, it can often backfire. It becomes too hard to sustain. Ironically, trying to be too consistent, will actually cause inconsistency. On the flip side, if you set the bar too low, you won’t do a behaviour frequently enough to get results.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what exactly consistency means to me. I’ve settled on a definition and framework that feels right. I suspect it’s also the right way for most people to think about it:

A minimum of 80% consistency over a period of 30 days – with no more than two consecutive misses.

There are three parts to this, let’s break this down a bit.

80% consistency

I’ve found that 80% is a perfect balance between being consistent enough to get impressive results – yet still giving you the flexibility to enjoy your life and deal with challenging periods. Everything above 80% starts to become diminishing returns, when you take into account the marginal gains vs. the trouble you run into. It’s not worth the trade off.

30 days

Thirty days is a good length of time to measure consistency. It helps you see the bigger picture. You’re less likely to get bent out of shape by having a bad day – or even a bad couple of days. You can afford to miss up to six times in a 30 day period, and still achieve 80%.

Two consecutive misses

The consecutive misses aspect of consistency is something that I only recently figured out. It might even be more important than 80% and 30 days.

A single miss is easy to recover from. As we know, you can afford six of them in a 30 day period and still achieve 80% consistency. But, if you do have a miss, you must try and put things right the following day. Because, where one miss is a blip, two consecutive misses becomes the start of a pattern. The probability of another miss is higher after two consecutive misses. And so on, for three misses, and four misses etc. It’s a very slippery slope. So, I’ve found that you should try very hard to avoid two consecutive misses. And you never want to go more than two consecutive misses.

To give a bit of context, here’s how my habits are looking for March so far (21 days in):

The first thing you’ll notice is aside from 10K steps (a new habit I’m establishing a baseline for), I’m on track to achieve 80% for every habit. For some habits, I’m even trending towards between 90 and 100%. That’s fantastic, but it’s the icing on the cake and not my goal. I just happen to find those habits easier to do.

You’ll also notice that other than 10K steps, you won’t find more than one consecutive miss. When I miss (whether the miss is intentional or not – and sometimes it is intentional), I try very hard not to have another consecutive miss afterwards. And if I ever miss twice on the row, I’m on high alert.

So, a minimum of 80% consistency over a period of 30 days – with no more than two consecutive misses. That’s how I define consistency. It helps me get impressive results and live a balanced life.

I encourage you to spend some time thinking about what consistency means for you. Define it in a way that leaves no ambiguity. Because, when you get clear on stuff like this – things really start to click.

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Defining self discipline (and why you have to build it)

February 22, 2023

As I’ve built a more disciplined life, I’ve become clearer on what self discipline means to me.

Ultimately, it comes down to this:

Self Discipline = Consistently doing things you don’t want to do

Now, on the surface that sounds pretty miserable right? One could make the argument – what sort of a life is that to live? But, let me tell you, without any doubt at all, it’s EXACTLY the right type of life to live.

The things you don’t want to do aren’t usually big or horrible – they’re minor points of discomfort. In most cases, it’s not even discomfort – it’s more that there is an easier and more comfortable alternative. And once you get into it, it’s always less uncomfortable than you imagine.

Let me give you some examples:

I never feel like drinking a litre of water within the first thirty minutes of waking up. It’s not overly uncomfortable to do. There’s just an element of discomfort, and therefore friction associated with it. Instead, its very tempting to wake up, drink a black coffee and get started with the day. But, almost every morning, drinking a litre of water within thirty minutes of waking up is exactly what I do. Because I know if I don’t, I will struggle to hit my goal of three litres per day.

I rarely feel like working out. I’d guess I feel like it about 20% of the time. It’s always tempting to put it off and do something easier and warmer instead. But, if I plan to workout, I WILL workout. I push the temptation to the back of my mind, put on my trainers, and get out for a walk (first part of my warm up). I then get into the garage gym and push through the rest of the warm up (yeah – still not feeling like working out). Then I get into the session. By now, I’m either happy to be doing it, or at least OK with it. I continue to push through that early friction and discomfort because I know I have to do it. If I want to be healthy, fit and happy in my own skin, I have to do it.

Everyday, I eat within an eight hour window – usually between 1PM and 9PM. I start to become aware of some hunger around mid morning (I’m feeling it now as I write this at 11:30). I feel this because I’m either genuinely hungry, or because eating would be nice (I kinda like food). Almost every day, I observe that feeling of hunger and discomfort, and I choose not to eat. I do this because I know sticking to my fasting period helps me eat less and make better food choices. This is foundational to my health and fitness goals.

Like I said, these examples are not big or horrible things. Simply, they are things I would rather not be doing – and there is a much easier and comfortable alternative.

My day is filled with these moments. Whilst I don’t choose the right option all of the time, I do choose it most of the time (80% is good enough, remember?).

OK, let’s go back to the argument of consistently doing things you don’t want to do – what sort of a life is that to live? Exactly the right one. These moments aren’t a huge hardship. They’re about making conscious decisions to delay short term gratification, for a much, much bigger prize.

What is that much, much bigger prize?

It’s being at a body weight I am comfortable with. It’s being comfortable taking my top off. It’s having energy. It’s being in a good and optimistic mood. It’s being in good health – meaning a good lifespan and healthspan [1]. It’s having pride and confidence, that comes from making good decisions and living life the right way.

Imagine the inverse – leading an undisciplined life. One where you take the easier and more comfortable option more often than not. That leads to being overweight. Being embarrassed to take my top off. Being tired a lot of the time. Feeling down. Having health problems. Struggling with confidence. Fuck that. It makes all of those moments of discomfort worth it.

I’ll say one other thing, that I only realised in writing this article. The sense of pride and confidence you feel from consistently doing things you don’t want to do, is one hell of a feeling. It helps to soften and neutralise those moments of discomfort.

It’s clear to me that the bigger prize, combined with how you feel about yourself on a day to day basis when you consistently do things you don’t want to do – that’s exactly the right life to live. There’s no question about it.

Notes:

[1] Lifespan is the total number of years we live, whereas healthspan is how many of those years we remain healthy and free from disease.

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The biggest threat to building discipline and consistency

January 30, 2023

Even when you’re disciplined, rarely do you get a perfect day. When one arrives though, it’s really something to savour.

When you live a disciplined life, most days are good though. Each one is a solid step forward and something to be proud of. But, now again, there’s a potential car crash waiting around the corner. ‘Potential’ and ‘around the corner’ are key words there. It doesn’t have to happen. And that’s where a mitigation plan comes in.

What’s wrong with the odd car crash you might ask? Quite a lot.

For a start, it destroys momentum. Nothing is as big a threat to consistency than when momentum is disrupted. If you drink three litres of water every day, and then have a day or two where you don’t drink any? I can guarantee it’ll be at least twice as hard to drink three litres of water the next day. Five times as hard the following day.

A car crash seriously messes with your results. At best, it will cause your week to break even. But usually it puts you at least a few steps back. You then have to use the next few weeks to gain the ground back.

But, here’s why a car crash is particularly disastrous for consistency. Like a virus, it has a way of spreading and infecting other habits and behaviours in your life. Let’s say you’re used to sleeping seven hours a night, but choose to party hard one night and you only get four hours sleep. Every other habit and behaviour you hold dear is now under threat. It’ll be harder to eat well, exercise, drink water etc. It’s a very steep and slippery slope. Before you know it, many of your habits and behaviours are coming crumbling down.

That’s a long way of saying, you have to avoid car crashes if you want to hold onto a disciplined life.

This is where a mitigation plan comes in. If you know you have something potentially disruptive around the corner, you have to think ahead. What can you do to proactively tilt the balance so severely the other way – that you turn a car crash into a blip?

Blips are fine. A blip doesn’t destroy momentum. A blip doesn’t cause you to fall off the wagon. A blip doesn’t dent your results in the same way a car crash will. You can take a few blips every week and still sit nicely in the 80 / 20 zone (the place where you can enjoy life and reap the benefits of being disciplined and consistent).

Let me give you a couple of examples for what a mitigation plan looks like in practice:

Last week I had a meal out with friends. Even with my best willpower effort (and taking into account I was going to let loose a bit), it was inevitably going to be a high calorie and carb evening. So, I made sure to ensure every one of my seven tracked habits was in the bank beforehand. I was more active than I might usually have been that day. I also fasted until later in the day and made sure to head into the dinner with low calories, high protein and low carbs:

This tilted the balance so severely the other way, that it mitigated the evening meal. I didn’t end up tracking the evening meal (it’s hard to do in a restaurant), but I would guess my mitigation helped me roughly stay inline with where my total calories would be on a normal day. Sure, carbs would have been a bit higher than I would usually like, but it is what it is. Importantly, I downgraded a potential car crash to a blip.

Here’s another example. We went to a friend’s house in the village on Saturday night to play some poker. I suspected it was going to be a later night than I would usually have (I’m normally in bed by 10PM). I also often get up early on a Sunday morning (between 6 and 7AM) to go for a long walk. This all meant there was a pretty good chance of getting disastrous sleep and falling below my 6.30 hour goal.

Thinking ahead, I decided to change a few things. I’d skip the early morning walk. I also wouldn’t set an alarm, and would allow myself whatever time I needed to be fully rested.

It turns out it wasn’t a crazy late night, but it was enough to see me go to bed over an hour later than I might usually (it was worth it, poker was fun!). My daughter woke up about 5AM and got into our bed too, which disrupted my sleep further. As I had planned for, I woke up much later than I might have usually – 8AM.

This all meant I ended up with an epic sleep of 8:17 hours!

Intentionally waking later was the ultimate mitigation. Even if the poker night went on later than it did, my 6.5 hour sleep goal would have been safe. But, I went further than simply protecting it. I ended up turning a potential car crash into a WIN – because 8:17 was one of my top five sleeps of the month!

There’s nothing complicated, or even hard about a mitigation plan. What most people lack is the self awareness of upcoming events that will threaten your consistency – and to understand why that’s fatal. Once you get that, it’s easy and it feels natural to plan ahead and mitigate. And when you do this, you’ll find it so much easier to be consistent with the habits and behaviours you care about.

A last word on mitigation. It’s an advanced strategy. It assumes that you have built some discipline and consistency to start with. If you haven’t, start there. My best advice for that is to focus on one habit at a time and visually track your progress – as I do every month.

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Why you have to build a disciplined life

January 10, 2023

As I build a more disciplined life, I understand why discipline equals freedom.

As you build more discipline, you start to feel more free. I know that doesn’t make sense on the surface. Wouldn’t being more disciplined lead to fewer choices? Nope, in fact, the exact opposite.

Almost every day, I drink two cups of espresso – never after midday. I’ve built this habit and it’s now easy to do. It requires no thought or effort. If I ever break it, it’s an intentional choice and worth it.

But, I used to drink at least ten cups of tea from the moment I woke up, to going to bed. I could never resist a double espresso after a big meal out at a restaurant. I tried to cut down many times, and found it very difficult. I knew it was too much caffeine. I knew it was hurting my sleep and therefore my health. Yet, it seemed to have a control over me that was too hard to break.

Almost every day, I drink two litres of water. This one requires a little more intention, but it’s not hard. I drink a litre quickly and early in the day. And I have a 1 litre Yeti water bottle that makes it easy to remember to drink more water – which I do.

But, I used to drink hardly any water on any given day. I’d remember at multiple points throughout the day, but never actually did the right thing and actually drink some water. Sometimes I would drink a glass or two, but it felt like a massive chore. I knew if I drank more water, I would feel better and be healthier. Yet, I still struggled to nail down the habit.

Almost every day, I push back my first bite of food to about 14.00. Only water and espresso until then. If I ever break it, again, it’s an intentional choice. This helps me be clear headed, alert and productive in the mornings. It helps me control my appetite and calorie intake. It helps keep my weight at the right level – which makes me feel good and gives me better health. And perhaps most importantly, it gives me control over my relationship with food. I’ll eat when I need to eat. I’ll eat when I say I’ll eat.

But, I used to eat as soon as I woke up. And from there, it was an autopilot, graze fest through to bed time. I’d eat for the sake of it. I’d get energy slumps throughout the day. I was often bloated and uncomfortable from eating too much and too frequently. I felt like a slave to food.

I could go on and on. Which versions of these sound more free? Which versions of these lead to more peace of mind? Which versions of these have more choice? Which versions of these lead to a higher quality life – both in the moment you decide to let loose a bit (i.e today I’m going to enjoy having pancakes for breakfast) and also in the long term (better long-term health)?

I can guarantee you, it’s totally possible to go from undisciplined to disciplined. And when you taste it, there’s no going back. But, talking about it and hoping for things to get better won’t work. You need to put systems in place. You need to get people around you that will keep you accountable.

A great first step is writing out your habits and then tracking them on a daily basis. It doesn’t have to be fancy – as you can see 😉

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A perfect day

January 4, 2023

Yesterday was about as perfect as it gets.

I woke from a 8:21 sleep – a solid 50% of deep and REM sleep and 100% of my total sleep need (according to whoop)

I fasted (black coffee and water) until 14.30.

My diet was pure perfection. 2000 calories, with 40% protein, 40% fat and 20% carbs. That’s a massive 193 grams of protein.

I had 2 cups of caffeine before 11am.

I drank 2 litres of water.

I took my supplements.

I had a great training session – a nice long warm up, some upper body strength, conditioning on the bike, followed by a decent cool down.

Of course, no alcohol (537th day sober).

It’s rare that a day of habits comes together as perfectly as this. And that’s sort of the point.

A few years ago, I would have held this type of day as the minimum benchmark to feel satisfied. I was so goal oriented, that nothing less than hitting all of my perfect goals was good enough. Almost all of the time, I was overwhelmed and frustrated by not achieving my goals.

Fast forward to today, and perfection is not the goal. 80% consistency is good enough. I don’t get bent out of shape if I miss some stuff. I know 80% is where most of the rewards are. At 80%, I look and feel better than I ever have. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

Striving for perfection makes for a miserable life. Because as soon as you know you’re not going to hit perfection (usually, very early in the day), it’s easy to talk yourself into completely giving up until the next day. This is horrible for building consistency. And consistency ALWAYS wins over perfection.

Last year I laid the groundwork with my health. I found a way to be consistent with health habits and by working with my personal trainer, we found an optimal way for me to train consistently. This year, I’m going to build myself into a goddamn machine. And I’m going to do it with patience, 80% consistency, and a smile on my face. 😊

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Having rules for yourself

November 24, 2022

Yesterday I listened to Joe Rogan’s conversation with Steven Pressfield (author of the War of Art). It’s a brilliant, wide ranging conversation on many things. What stood out for me, was their discussion on why it’s important to have rules for yourself.

I’m a big fan of having rules for my life. In fact, the rules I have for myself are now becoming deeply ingrained habits. When I describe them to others, I often get a surprised look. I mean, I get it – it really does sound like a lot when I say them out loud. But, it also doesn’t seem like a lot to me, because I’ve become normalised to it.

I don’t drink alcohol.
I sleep over six and a half hours a day.
I eat within an eight hour window (usually between 1PM and 9PM) – fasting for sixteen hours
I drink a maximum of two cups of caffeine a day, and never after midday
I drink at least two litres of water every day
I take supplements every day (vitamin c, multivitamin, fish oil, vitamin d, quercetin, zinc and magnesium)
I eat over 120 grams of protein a day

The above rules are virtually non negotiable. I hold myself accountable to them and track them daily.

I say virtually non negotiable, because I’m not perfect. Shooting for perfection isn’t realistic. It’s also not how I want to live my life. The 80/20 is where you find the sweet spot for most of the rewards – but with the flexibility to have some fun and stay sane too. It took me a very long time to learn that.

My life is so much better for having these rules. I feel great. I’m in good health. I’m at a weight I am happy with. I have better mental health. Overall, they help contribute to a happier and more productive life.

But, what’s important is I know my rules. I know why I have each one. I don’t have to go through the mental gymnastics each day – wondering and debating what types of things I should probably do. I don’t have to wait for, or rely on hitting rock bottom to find the motivation to do these things. I just do them. It’s who I am.

So, whilst on the surface it looks like a lot of discipline, it’s actually incredibly liberating. As Jocko Willink says, Discipline = Freedom.

I’ve also started to re-read Daily Rituals: How Artists Work this week. What another great reminder of how important rules and routines are. It’s not a coincidence that some of the most successful and productive artists of all time had self-imposed daily rituals and rules for their life.

So, here’s the big question. Do you have any rules for yourself?

If you don’t, consider coming up with one rule that would help you live a happier and more productive life. Commit to it. Track it. Keep plugging away until it literally becomes who you are. You may just find this becomes an inflection point that leads you towards many other positive changes in your life.

And as usual, if you want any help with anything like this, hit me up.

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Perfection is not the goal

May 11, 2022

I was off to an absolutely cracking start for my habits in May. You could say, a perfect start.

My goal was to maintain the habits that I’ve recently got to 80% consistency:

sleep 6.5 hours
drink two litres of water
drink a maximum of three cups of caffeine (before midday)
take my supplements

I also wanted to eat paleo and intermittently fast (as per my new stricter rules) at 50% consistency.

I was particularly impressed with my first six days of sleep. A perfect record and an average of 7:35 hours a night. But then days 7, 8, & 9 happened. They were still above 6.5 hours, but getting a bit close to the wire. I started to feel disappointed that I wasn’t able to keep up with the 7 and 8 hours numbers from the first six days.

And then, I came in with a 3:52 for day 10.

I was disappointed with myself. I could have easily avoided the 3:52. Instead, I went to bed late when I knew I would be getting up at 04.30 the next morning – and I ruined my perfect record.

But, wait. Let’s back up a minute.

I KNEW I would come in shockingly low on day 10. I even made the decision to stay up late consciously. I did it with knowledge I was easily on track enough to still achieve my sleep goal for the month (80%).

Let’s back up even further. Why on earth was I disappointed on days 7, 8 and 9? They were ABOVE the goal of 6.5 hours. I was literally disappointed with achieving my goal!

If I take an even more macro view of things – even with day 10 – I am at 90% consistency with sleep for the month. That’s nicely ABOVE my 80% goal. It’s a great month so far. Everything is well above my goal, with only paleo lagging a bit – and I have plenty of time to course correct on that.

So, why do I find myself disappointed and giving myself a hard time? Why do I find myself slipping into perfection being the goal?

One word. Expectations.

I’ve gone most of my adult life holding myself to high and unrealistic standards. I’ve managed to change my mentality around this in the last few years. But, it’s so incredibly easy to fall back into the trap of letting my expectations run out of control. Before you know it, I’m changing the goal posts and having a crappy internal dialogue with myself.

The silver lining is that nowadays I‘m able to catch this happening early. I can then pause and zoom out – see things for what they really are.

And this is what I see. I’ve made a breakthrough with my habits in the last few months and have found a system that works. I’m smashing May. I’m on an upward trend with momentum. I can be happy and proud of where I am in general. I literally find myself looking at my habit sheets and day, hardly believing it’s me doing it.

Perfection is not the goal. Nearly all of the benefits happen in the 80 – 90% consistency range. That’s where you can live a successful, healthy and balanced life.

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