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Being self critical: My biggest strength and weakness

It took a recent crossfit session to remind me of my biggest strength, but also my biggest weakness — being self critical.

We had to pick two movements that we hated and sucked at. I went with thrusters and kipping pull ups. We practiced them throughout the session and used them in the workout at the end.

6 thrusters, followed by 6 kipping pull ups — repeated for as many reps as possible in 20 mins.

Pretty tough. I found the movements awkward throughout. As I was driving home after the workout, here’s what played through my head:

Thrusters felt super awkward:

  • Picking the bar from the floor isn’t so bad. But, getting the bar into the front squat position is hard on my wrists. I can’t get my elbows higher enough either. Need to work on wrist flexibility in general.<li>
  • The front squat part of the movement is OK, but the transition from top of the squat to overhead press is super awkward. Hard and painful on the wrists. Wrist flexibility again.
  • Overhead press is OK. I got pretty good strength there
  • Transition from bringing the bar down from the press into a front squat is horrible. I have to reset the bar on my shoulders to avoid too much wrist pain. Then I have to adjust my grip before I squat. Pretty painful. Wrist strength and flexibility again.
  • Overall, quite a few awkward bits in the movement. The transition from front squat to press, and back to front squat, was awkward and jerky.
  • I was using 35KG. Not heavy enough. I want to be using 50KG in wods.

Kipping pull ups felt even more awkward:

  • I need to get momentum with the swing (hollow body hold to superman) before I start the kipping pull ups. This slows me down in a workout. Some of that is because it allows me to make the first rep a good one. And that gives me more chance of getting the second and third rep right. Some of it is habit. I need to force myself to jump onto the bar and go straight into a kipping pull up. Need to work on that.
  • The pull up part of the movement is actually OK. But, I struggle to fall into the right position, that then lets me flow into another pull up. So, I tend to be able to pull off a second rep, but hardly ever a third. Unless I get the falling motion right, I won’t be able to pull off 5+ reps and use them in workouts.
  • I got tired super quick. The first few rounds I could get 3 + 2 + 1. But, after 4 or 5 rounds, I was pretty much doing 2 + 2 + 2 and then finally 2 + 2 + 1 + 1.
  • I keep ripping skin on the palm of my hands. Super annoying.

On top of the above, there was a girl next to me focusing on the same two movements. She was nailing 50KG thrusters and sets of 8 or 10 kipping pull ups. It made me realise how far I have to go.

The above was running through my head the whole way home. I started plotting priorities for how I can get better, stronger thrusters and kipping pull ups. I started to feel overwhelmed and a bit annoyed that I was so weak and behind the curve.

And then, something clicked and I got another perspective.

Six weeks ago, I couldn’t even go to crossfit. I had to take two months off because of tendonitis in my foot. That was super annoying and I was very frustrated.

Here I am actually able to go to crossfit and push myself. This wasn’t possible six weeks ago. I’m doing thrusters and kipping pull ups in a WOD. I’m pushing myself hard. I made some good improvement in the thruster transitions. I also made progress with the kipping pull ups falling movement. I’m absolutely better at those movements from when I walked into the gym an hour before. I’m clearer on the one or two things I need to focus on to be better at them.

That’s actually a good position to be in.

Yet, I beat myself up for all the small things I could be doing better. I beat myself up for being behind the curve compared to other people. I completely lose sight of appreciating that I AM moving forward and getting better — one step at a time.

It’s just one example of how being self critical on myself stops me appreciating the progress I’m making. I do this at work and almost every category of my life by default.

Being self critical and beating myself up like this might be my biggest strength. It drives me to get better and improve. But, it often means I don’t appreciate the progress I am making. It stops me being happy with where I am, and appreciating the present moment.

The key takeaway I have is I need to be OK with the self critical behaviour. It’s a strength, but I need to keep perspective too. Let it happen, but pull back from it and focus on the few things I can do to move forward — and just do them. And to then spend time on appreciating the progress I’ve made and where I am today. Be OK with where I am. Relax and appreciate the present moment a bit more.

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When No One is Looking

This is embarrassing, but here it goes. I have a massive man crush on Mat Fraser.

It started when I watched Fittest on Earth 2015. Mat placed second and stood out as an incredible athlete. He made a few mistakes and wasn’t quite the all rounder Ben Smith was.

Recently I watched Fittest on Earth: A Decade of Fitness (Crossfit Games 2016). Mat blew through the competition (including Ben Smith) to finish first. It was awesome to see Mat dominate the competition, including beating last years winner. But, I figured, sometimes it happens like that. You see the same thing with football teams. No matter the odds, sometimes you get an upset. Maybe he should have won in 2015? Or maybe 2016 was a fluke?

Today I stumbled on the ‘Mat Fraser — Making a Champion’ documentary series. And it all made sense. Mat is an absolute machine and he has the most amazing attitude and work ethic.

Placing second in 2015 was obviously painful for him. In his own words:

I look at my medal from 2015. I hate that fucking medal. Because I didn’t do it right, you know? That’s like second place. I got second place in 2015. I should be proud of that result. I was the second fittest man in the world. But I just look at that and I’m like…. I fucking hate that year, because I’m not proud of the effort I put in. I’m not proud of the corners I cut.

He went about 2016 completely different. He looked at everything he was weak in and did whatever it took to get better. This is a great example:

Alright, I suck at rowing. So I got a rower. And I rowed between 4K and 5K a day for a whole year.

Every day, he just put the work in. He kept stacking the days, with the faith it would make him stronger for next year’s competition. It’s pure discipline. Another good quote from Mat that sums up his attitude:

I’m gonna do today what other people aren’t willing to. So I can do tomorrow, what other people can’t.

This one really resonated with me. It can be hard to stay motivated to consistently take small, uncomfortable steps. Particularly when many of those steps don’t give you immediate results. But as Mat says, the consistent daily efforts = long term success. It’s the moments when no one is looking that count.

I’m going to put that last quote at the top of my planning documents to remind myself of this. And when I get an urge to procrastinate or cut a corner, I am going to remember Mat and his 2016.

I actually did this today. I had planned to go on a long bike ride. A few hours before I was due to set off, I started trying to persuade myself it would be ok to skip it. I’d done enough this week already, it was a bit too hot etc. I put the talk to one side and went out on the bike. And when I hit some steep hills, I had some shitty self talk about taking a rest and walking for a bit. I pushed through it and did the whole trip non stop — something I had never done before. And I felt great afterwards!

I encourage everyone to watch the Making a Champion videos. It doesn’t matter whether you are into fitness or not. Mat’s mindset is super impressive and inspiring.

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Feature phones aren’t just for hipsters

Yesterday I overheard someone saying feature phones are popular amongst hipsters.

Recently, I ditched my iPhone 6 for a Nokia 130. I guess that makes me look like I was trying to be cool, which I definitely wasn’t. In fact, I think I look less cool — and I wasn’t cool to start with!

I did it because I was tired of being constantly connected.

The computer we carry around in our pocket is amazing. We have the world at our fingertips, but that was my problem. I was addicted to checking things — twitter, medium, public markets, email, news, instagram, bank balance etc.

I did it when I woke, when I was with people, or when I was bored by myself. Reaching for my phone to check things, that didn’t need to be checked had become a habit.

Maybe I’m more obsessive than most. Or maybe I’m more aware of my addiction. Either way, it was getting in the way of life.

I wasn’t being present and was feeling drained by being constantly connected. It was distracting me from things I wanted to do.

I tried to curb it in a few ways. I tried turning off all notifications. Then I tried removing the worst offending apps from my phone. I tried Jake Knapp’s disabling safari trick. But, I couldn’t resist checking things and always found a way around it.

I decided to try something extreme. Ditch the smart phone for a feature phone. The Nokia 130 seemed perfect. It was 20 quid. No apps. No camera. Just phone calls and texts.

Nokia 130 – look at this beauty!

I’m 10 days in and it’s been one of the best things I’ve done this year.

I had the same urges to check things in the first week, but had no way of acting on it. They became less frequent in the second week, and now I hardly get them at all.

I feel so much better. I’m more present and my mind feels less cluttered.

I also now enjoy the things I used to check too frequently more. Take Twitter for example. I used to check it 20 times a day for a few minutes. Now it’s two or three times a day for 5–10 mins. I look forward to sitting down and browsing it properly

I thought I would miss apps that are exclusive to the phone, but I don’t. The only thing I’ve found inconvenient is needing to google something on the move. But how great I feel without a smartphone far outweighs that.

The only time I pull the iPhone 6 out of the cupboard is when I run or bike. I like to use Strava and Nike + to track things and I listen to music whilst I’m exercising. But I put it straight back into the cupboard afterwards. I can use the laptop for most other things and can live without the rest.

One surprising benefit of a feature phone is the battery life. My first full charge lasted eight days. You wouldn’t think charging your phone is such a pain in the ass until you rarely need to do it.

Right, I’m off to stay with family for 3 days on the South coast. And I don’t need to pack a charger.

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Promoting From Within vs. Hiring From the Outside

If you’re in a leadership role, you will have to deal with hiring people at some point. When you do, it’s inevitable that you will wrestle with the decision to promote from within – or hire from the outside.

I have a lot of experience with both (getting it right and wrong!) and wanted to share some of the pro’s and con’s of each.

Promoting from within

I went through a phase of almost exclusively promoting from within. I think it was because I was given a shot at doing something I was unproven at, early in my career. It played a big part in me wanting to do the same for others.

There are some strong benefits to promoting from within.

For a start, you can often fill the role faster. The recruitment process can be streamlined. You can also re-organise people where you need them quicker.

They also tend to get off to a quicker start than external candidates. They already know how the company works (culture, processes, who is who etc.) and most people in the company are familiar with them. It’s also easier and more natural for the hiring manager to work with someone they know. It’s easier to set expectations, give feedback and establish how work should be delivered.

It also sends a fantastic signal to the rest of the company. It highlights the opportunities for career progression, which should never be under-estimated. It might even be the biggest factor in how long people stay at a company.

However, there are some risks to promoting from within and they have bitten me hard a few times. Particularly when I was learning the basics of leadership.

If you misjudge peoples potential to perform in the short term and most importantly, to be able to grow into the role at the pace the business needs – it can be disastrous. A huge amount of effort and time is wasted. Focus and execution suffers and relationships can be ruined. Everyone goes through a stressful and crappy time (particularly the over-promoted individual).

It can often result in the over-promoted individual leaving the business (their old role isn’t always available – and sometimes they’ve just had enough). And because they were usually promoted because they were very good at their previous role, you’ve just lost a star.

I’ve definitely been successful in getting the individual back into their old role (or another suitable role). But, often the relationship and their work is never quite the same.

Lastly, remember that signal you wanted to send to the rest of the company? It’s not a great view for people watching to see someone struggling and fail. Even if you manage the situation fairly, some people will assume you under supported or unfairly removed them.

There are a few things you can do to help mitigate the risks of promoting from within.

It’s really important to spend time thinking about your expectations for the role and person. What level do you need them to perform at now?,How will the role and your expectations evolve over the next 6–18 months? Are they a good fit for both?

You need to feel comfortable that the person can handle it. Have an open conversation with them and be honest with each other about how it could pan out. There is no shame in it not being the right time for them.

You should also identify what training and support they will need — both now and down the line. You need to be confident you are capable of giving it to them (this is easy to underestimate).

A 3 or 6 month trial can work well. Holding their old position as a fallback option can be a good idea too. This makes it easier to undo if things don’t work out. But, only a little bit. Be careful about this. This type of set up can have it’s own unique problems and in my experience it’s best to go ‘all in’ or not at all. You either believe they can do it, and will support them with that in mind – or you don’t.

Promoting from within can be wonderful when you get it right. But it can also be tricky. If you get it wrong a couple of times, it’s easy to lean towards playing it safe and hiring from the outside. This was true for me at one point.

Hiring from the outside

Hiring from the outside has some big benefits also. The biggest is that you can bring someone in who’s been there and done it before (or several times before). In fact, often they will come in and open your eyes for how things need to be done. You can end up learning a lot from hiring senior, experienced people.

Having a fresh set of eyes on something can be powerful too. It’s surprising how blinkered you can become when you’re in the weeds — or simply just used to your own environment. This is why new people tend to have a big impact in their first 3 months. They can see things you are overlooking.

Like promoting from within, it can also send a different, but also powerful signal the rest of the company.

Hiring an experienced external candidate shows your ambition to assemble the best talent. The fact that a very experienced individual wants to join the company, can help raise confidence on the future for the company.

As you would expect, there are some risks to hiring from the outside.

Unlike promoting from within, you don’t know who you are working with. Sometimes you only get to spend a few hours with the individual before making the decision to hire. Smooth talkers can exaggerate their previous achievements. What you get, isn’t always quite what you thought you were getting.

Whether the individual can fit into the culture of the company is also a big question mark. Of course, you can get a feel of this throughout the interview process, but you can never be 100% sure. I’ve seen some people let go in their first week due to a complete misfit of values.

The best way I’ve found to mitigate the risks of hiring from the outside is to get several people into the assessment process. This is critical. I’ve felt pretty good about some individuals, only to find that some of my leadership team picked up on things I didn’t. It then led to a decision not to hire.

You should also do your homework and search out people who have worked with the individual before. Ask some direct and discreet questions. If you can find someone in your company who has worked with them before, this is best. You can check supplied references, but you should be sceptical of these, as they will likely be biased.

I’ve also been bitten hard a couple of times when hiring from the outside. Ultimately you have to exit them from the business. If you find yourself in this situation, be fair and generous to the individual. A decent amount of responsibility lies with you for hiring them in the first place. So, parting ways in a positive way (or at least neutral) is always best.

So, hire from within or hire from the outside?

I don’t think it’s quite as simple as one being better than the other.

There will be times when hiring from the outside is always the preferable option. For example, when the gap for internal people to jump is too big. The other time is when the role is needed to either transform part of the company or be part of an entirely new function for the business. Often the skill set here is specific and there won’t be any experience of it within the company itself.

As I mentioned above, my preference swung to hiring from the outside due to a couple of internal promotions not going well. I think this was a mistake and since then, my risk profile for promoting from within has shifted. I’m now willing to take a few more risks with it, dependant on the specific situation I’m trying to fix. That’s the key. It has to be an intentional, well thought out decision to go outside or inside.

It all comes down to your judgement on their potential. Do they have the capability to grow into the role at the pace the business needs? Also, can you commit to providing the right coaching and support.

If I have a role with a few good external candidates and a promising internal candidate (right attitude, eager to prove themselves, self aware etc.), I’m much more likely to give the internal candidate a shot. The positives for promoting from within, outweigh the unknown with an external candidate for me.

The closing point I want to make is that building a culture that develops internal talent and regularly promotes from within is hard. It requires the company to consciously make it a priority and consistently work hard at it.

High potential individuals need to be flagged early. There needs to be conversations about their ambitions and any support they need as early as possible. These conversations need to be ongoing.

Considering what peoples future potential is at the recruitment stage is also important. This will help people grow into their roles and subsequent roles in the future more easily. Forecasting what types of roles you will be looking for in the future and doing succession planning for key people is very important too.

Having a great people / learning and development function really helps. They can often drive a lot of the forward thinking and structure for developing talent. However, ultimately it’s the responsibility of leaders in the organisation to think about this, and make it happen. They should be having the right conversations with people, and using the L&D function for support.

It’s about identifying what the business needs going forward. Then, being very conscious and organised in how people might move around the company in the future to fulfil these. It’s also about doing everything you can to prepare them.

Companies that do this well should be very proud. It isn’t easy and takes a ton of effort and some talented people to pull it off. But the rewards are massive if you get it right.

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